Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

Walk in the woods

I was taking a walk one spring evening in the hills behind my house. When I rounded a bend, a strange sight suddenly confronted me: a man in bright colored clothing was coming towards me. When he saw me, he made an exaggerated stop and promptly walked up to me and pulled a flower from behind my ear. He gave it to me with an elaborate bow, then beckoned me to follow him. By now, this strange clown had caught my interest, so I was more than willing to follow him. I have been fascinated by clowns since I was a k**, and this one wasn’t bad to look at either.

He led me to a wooded, seclude... Continue»
Posted by X_PAC6969 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 618  |  
82%
  |  8

Eurotica 14: First day of the holiday

One of many tales I wrote - with many more to come if I get feedback!

Eurotica 14: First day of the holiday


Lorna was sitting back on her plastic chair and looking up, there was barely a cloud to be seen in the sky and a distant jet plane broke the blue void.
She was sat on the top balcony of the holiday apartment, the sun was high in the midday sky and the heat was entering every pore.
She was a redhead and her pale skin could suffer in that climate, it was for the best not to overdo it on the first day of the holiday. Why be in pain for the rest of it?
She put her sunglasses b... Continue»
Posted by nickyb1968 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 326  |  
76%
  |  2

What Cums Around

"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
************************************************************************
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.

It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 583  |  
40%

in mywildest dreams

now this is some shit thats hrd to belive
never could i ever imagined what was going to happen to me
as i lay therelost in a dream filled with differentwoman in front of me
somewere black somewere whitethe majority looked like white but as i stared getting to know each one it was clearthat race didnt really appear wellat least 2 me it didnt becausetheonlything i saw were nice shaped bodys notthe way u would think...but niced shaped in a way that appealed...to me...
the roundest of tits the thickness in there assess and legs u see i like that shit it turns me on callme different call mewron... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 637  |  
57%
  |  3

A Very Painful Visit To Mistress V

Friday 5th September 2003 - I'm off on a long weekend. I'm sat on a train and my eventual destination is East Croydon though I will have to change at Haslemere.
I have arranged to meet and have a drink with a certain Mistress V with regards to my suitability to become her sub – it's only a preliminary meeting and I haven't brought along my favourite plastic beach shoe or garden cane.
For some reason I recall a paragraph I once read many years ago in a book about sexual perversion something along the lines that: The whip cracking, leather clad, fierce, obedience seek... Continue»
Posted by Ima_Kant 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 445  |  
57%
  |  1

I Really Must...

Time: 2030. Place: The northern side to the entrance of Ryde Harbour on the Isle of Wight.
From where I am, facing west, the most significant feature is Ryde Pier. The pier constructed in 1815 is the oldest pier in Britain. It is the fourth longest behind: Southend, Southport and Walton-on-Naze. It actually consists of three piers: one for the railway, another for a tramway - disused since 1969 and the busiest section which is utilised by pedestrians, cyclists and light traffic.
As I hold this in my minds eye a train rumbles down the tracks. The train has two coaches and is of ex London Unde... Continue»
Posted by Ima_Kant 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1198  |  
75%
  |  2

I Shag, Dump And Slap The Minging Slut!

I’m just on the way round to see the Minger… it’ll be for the last time because once I’ve shagged her gross little body I’m going to dump her… naturally she doesn’t know that. In fact I’ve really been quite nice to her recently… well nice by my standards… built up her hopes that we will be ‘an item’, perhaps get married one day.
Me… married? That’s a facking laugh… show me a ‘happily’ married man and I’ll show you a facking loser… and I’ll tell you why he’s a fa... Continue»
Posted by Ima_Kant 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 209  |  
80%
  |  1

Rockin' w/ the Band

The new band singer knew just how to put her new band mate at ease.
She looked up at him and began to pull on her pussy hairs, and slowly
pull apart her vulva.

"Here I am!" she sang. "Rock me like a hurricane!"
***************************************************
(Time now for something different, This story is the first
of a new series that has has nothing to do with Trangender,
bisexual,chubby chasing, Larry/Lori, Ready Jane at Wild Crescent)

He was a man of few words. Most of the time his bass guitar
and body language did all his talking for him. Right n... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 943  |  
100%
  |  1

The Encounter with an on-line friend

The Encounter Part 01
true story by VL

I started talking with Kim about 5 months ago. Every so often I go in search of new people to chat with, usually I make a few dozen contacts but only one or two turn out to be really interesting. Kim proved to be one of those. We had great cyber-sex and talked about lots of crazy ideas for role play situations. We also talked about normal stuff too. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers and photos. Then fate stepped in and I got an assignment that would take me to her town for a few days.

We arranged a meeting, after a very passionate con... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1421  |  
96%
  |  13

Crack Addict prt. 4

You wanna do what ?!!

I want you to lay down on your stomach. I'm gonna rub this vial of baby oil on your ass cheeks and then I'm going to rub my dick in the crack of your ass until I cum. Preferably, I'd like to rub said cum all over your ass cheeks with my dick.

Man, you crazy ... Crazy as fuck.

But I got money.


I pulled a loose wad of cash from my pocket and gestured towards the prostitute. She giggled like an old hag and reached for the money.

you sure that's all you wanna do right ? I mean you aint gonna slip inot the booty hole or nothin and cla... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 676  |  
96%

Confessions of a token nigger ....



Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable pseudo liberal parties in the hills of Hollywood where people usually went to get not-so-quietly d***k, abuse prescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics ..
I was there but for the good graces of my clique, a ragtag group of pirate Nixon’s if i ever saw one ..

It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had somehow come to take up the "token Black guy" position in this group and the cost of my vicarious entertainment at... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1461  |  
71%
  |  5

Oral Fixation: Combining Two Things I Love

Recently I saw a couple of photos posted on xhamster of a chick with a banana shoved half-way up her twat. Got we very hot and I saved them to my favorites if you're curious to see them.

That image took me back several years. I had this girlfriend who let me fuck her with a banana on the kitchen table. Naturally, I fucked her with my dick in just about every room of that house, but having her buck-naked, spread-eagle on the dining table with a banana in her (fucked her with a carrot a few times too) was quite a hot thing to see. Especially the time my room-mate who was supposed to be ... Continue»
Posted by hangingout1984 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 179  |  
80%
  |  1

In Flight Fuck

"If you're the kind of guy I think you are," he said. "Then I
know you'll accept this token of my gratitude."

"A simple handshake would suffice," I joked, as Tommy pulled down
my pants. My cock was rapidly rising to the occasion.

*********************************************************
It was a good thing I was awake. The plane was about to land and the flight
attendants were checking everyone. After all my crazy dreams if one of them
had nudged me while I was sl**ping I know I would have screamed like a little
girl.

When I glanced to... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1263  |  
79%
  |  2

NO BOYS ALLOWED

Mehek introduced me to her friends, showed me around her town, and helped me
settle in and acclimate to my new life. We were cousins by bl**d, but friends,
and pretty soon best friends by choice. We hung out together, had the same
group of friends, and shared secrets, everything that best girl friends do. She
even told me about the night she lost her virginity to her boyfriend. I must
admit that hearing her describe how it happened got me really sexually aroused,
and that night while Mehek was asl**p, I masturbated for the first time. I only
used my fingers and didn't even have an ... Continue»
Posted by thehornybabe 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 5472  |  
91%
  |  18

Sexual Participation

Image of perfection
Object of an affection in sexing
Fantasizing freaky positions of you in submission
Pushing pulling twisting and moaning
A Place where I could store my erection
Splendid features
Tongue kissing fucking
Look up cause I got mirrors on the ceiling
Reflecting your ass bouncing silly
Soon as you come in right away
If you’re willing
Splay your legs open
Game played by 2
My sexual motivation
Got you yelling spots for me to do?
Amazed by the way you grind
Just for fun
I bet ill make you cum 61 times
First before insertion let me heat it up
Beat it up when ... Continue»
Posted by Emeze 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 166  |  
20%

The Wild Ride In The Air

The metal table was cold against my skin. My hands and feet were tied up and I was wearing a blindfold. All around me I heard voices, and the sound of people unfurling something they held in their hands.

That's when the whipping started.
******************************************************************
Flying Sucks!

I don't mean suck in a good way either. Flying sucks one hundred year old man asshole skank. The only thing I hated more than flying was living in the Southwestern USA.

"It's a dry heat," everyone says.

"Bull fucking shit!"

... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
40%
  |  2

What to do For an Encore

"Back in med evil days Gay sex was more in the open."

"Behold Hector, someone with their head and arms
caught in the stockade. Let us make haste
and part his ass cheeks forthwith!"

"You go ahead Orville I will go to the village and summon
the brethren so we can have a proper gang bang!"

*********************************************************************

The room was filled with cigarette smoke. But that wasn't a problem for two reasons. One we weren't at work and two I had started smoking again to help me over the estrogen roller co... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 692  |  
53%
  |  2

Our Own Show

Nikki was the first to blow. S/he caught me square in the eye.

"Oh! I'm cumming," s/he shouted.

That caused a chain reaction. Francesca splashed me on one side while Zaza got me on the other.

************************************************************************

"Fuck!' shouted Nick in frustration. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"I'm OK!" I assured Dennis.

"Now what do we do?" asked Zaza.

And with that one of Gigi's favorite movies popped into my head.

"Come on everybody! It's like what Judy Garla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 399  |  
53%

Kelly Bundy's Saturday Morning Surprise Part

Saturday morning came early for the younger Bundy f****y members; Buck as
usual was humping Marcy's poodle; Bud had just screwed Amber and she was
staggering back to her aunt's house butt naked and tired; Bud has now
crawled
back into bed to cuddle up with his other warm piece of ass for the
morning,
he had started out fucking her, but duties called for him to service Amber
and to keep her pussy happy.

Kelly sl**ps soundly as usual as she normally gets back home around 2am
from
one of her boy friends, where she usually gets screwed in the back seat of
their car, or gets ... Continue»
Posted by Kazron 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6276  |  
94%
  |  6

mrs fielding sees the snake

mrs fielding nearly fainted when she pulled down my jeans.she didnt believe me when i told her that i was huge.her face was a picture.all the emotions in a couple of seconds.suprise,delight,panic,bewilderment,amusement,lust.at one point i really thought she would faint.when she recovered her composure she began to stroke the length and girth with both hands.

now lets get one thing clear from the start---having a huge cock isnt all its cracked up to be.firstly women think its great to have a massive cock inside them but most cant fit it in.well mine hasnt been fully in one yet.its also diffi... Continue»
Posted by tonguehello 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2059  |  
74%
  |  2