me being da dj n at my party was djing most the night sow these sexy lokkin chicks evrywere but this 1 she looked at my eyes gave me da fck me look looking up n down at me sorta thing like anyways im drimnking smoking having a gd time then this gawjus looking gal comes upto me and ses if u do a shot of tiquila i will get off with u so i sed y not then thois gawjus gal starts sexy kissin me on the couch wee cant stop kissing she grabs my hand takes me to my room so we doing the sexykissin n she puts me straight agenst da wall she den kisses down my chest unbuttoning my zib she then puts her ... Continue»
Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 108
Big Girls Will Have Their Way!
This Story is based on what started as a Cartoon Fantasy Photograph, whose subject then turned very real.
This Cartoon Photo is one that you took of your gigantic girlfriend not long after you met her. It shows her using both her hands behind herself to bend over and show you her gigantic vaginal opening size by strongly pulling herself open to gape very very widely. Once you took the photograph, you and your girlfriend thought it was very funny, and then you captioned the top of that Photo to make it a mutual funny Cartoon Photo. You both would often look ... Continue»
So we have a new story for you guys! This past weekend we went to the movies to catch a flick, but there was nothing really we wanted to see. So we ended up seeing a movie we had already seen a few weeks back. So the movie started and we were watching, and it just got boring. I was just way to boring, so we (like a couple of high school teenagers) started making out hard! We were just kissing like we had never seen each other before. Now this is like 15 minutes into the movie mind you. So while Kate is kissing me she starts undoing my belt. Sweet, I know where this is going! Now we were like 3... Continue»
I was on holiday in Greece, and one of the bonuses is that topless sunbathing is commonplace. I would sit by the hotel pool, with my mirrored shades on, watchng the girls and admiring the variety of naked breasts.
I had noticed a German girl, maybe about 19 or so, on holiday with her parents (!) They would just sprawl on sun loungers all day and fry. The girl was clearly totally bored by the situation. She would sit by the pool edge, training a leg in the water and reading a book, occasionally getting up and wandering off for an hour or so, before returning.
She was no great looker, tall... Continue»
was travelling in france when I booked into a hostel . The reception desk was right across from the lounge and I immediately noticed two girls checking me out . One was a very young American girl in her twenties the other an English woman in her thirties . Anyway , we got talking and that night they were planning to go out and celebrate the birthday of the English girl and they invited me . We went out with other guests from the hostel and had a good time . The English girl was not only pretty , but friendly and kind and I began to notice a cerain attitude she directed towards me . We smoked... Continue»
This is the third story on Lynette, the hot white woman from the gym. Guess you can say this is a trilogy. ha ha (first was Giving a Hot White Woman Her First Black Cock" and second was "Motel Rendevous."
This past weekend was real interesting, really interesting. Friday I met a damn hot lady something might be, yea, just might be about to happen there. Saturday night I sat in some real good seats at the Braves game as they beat the Giants and made a new friend for sure. Somebody familiar might end up on my football team.
Sunday, yea baby! Sunday!!!! I got my boys together for Lynette’s al... Continue»
(A short poem written in praise of my lovers' boobies, all of them regardless of size - and I include my own rather large ones in that category because nobody loves mine more than I do, with the possible exception of my lovely husband! Don't be fooled by the fact that it appears to be written from the male perspective - disregard gender as well as size. It's all about the love of boobies in general, but through my eyes and my lusts!)
My lover's tits are so tiny,
It's so plain for all to see,
Though my lover's tits are so tiny,
She sure loves them - just like me!
by boy scout
Summer had hit full f***e, and with it that all-oppressing heat that seems to suck the life out of everything. At least, that’s the way I feel about this “lovely” place I call home. Phoenix has its moments, of course, but I’ve always been more interested in gentler, more loving climates. And that’s why my wife and I were so excited about our trip to Idaho. My s****r lived there with her husband and seven c***dren. Yes, you heard me right. She actually gave birth to seven c***dren. The oldest is twenty and the youngest had her eighth birthday a month ago. It still amazes m... Continue»
At the time I was only a teen. At a point where every teenage boy had desires and fantasies. Well I lived in a house with 3 bedrooms. My parents room then came my s****rs room which was next to my parents. And my room which was next to my s****rs. Mine was the furthest. Well my mom owned a resteraunt and all of her workers were latin women.
Woah did I fantasize about them. One worker was Big but had a nice ass and huge tits. Cute lady. My mom had hired a 23 year old Mexican chick. Woah was she curvy. She had a firm ass and c cup tits. She was fucking sexy. About 5’ feet and thin.
Well this g... Continue»
Excuse me Miss, Is this your shop???"
er, yes, Yes it is, can I help. Pip looked over at the man at the shop
entrance tall, stocky, suited & booted. He was carrying a clipboard and
"Can I see your shop agreement & confirmation of business forms, please"
He spoke politely but firmly.
"Have you just opened??"
Yes. Pip replied
"and how long has that been...." a stern look
just a week now.....
"The forms then please, I have no notification that you have right to be open
or to sell or serve customers!" a Very stern look now on his face
Oh, er... Continue»
I DONT THINK THIS IS TRUE BUT ITS SO FUNNY I NEARLY WET MYSELF LAUGHING
on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney .
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers'yes',he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with (phone number) for verification If their partner answers those same... Continue»
He Didn't Stand a Chance :-),
They were the perfect neighbor's, a pretty Mom, a fairly large son and a lovely daughter, there didn't seem to be a husband, father. They didn't say and I didn't ask.
That's what I mean, perfect neighbors. A smile or a wave, the occasional 'hello' if we crossed paths. Not noisy, no loud cars, I had to smile as every now I could hear 60's or 70's music, Mom? in between the c***dren's music, well, what they call music.
Like I said, perfect neighbors. They seemed to fit in with the others in our small cul-de-sac. I lived right at the end of the street and coul... Continue»
Hi! All reader I am male from Gujarat and I am writing my true story first time. Let me tell u that my English is so low so u finds lot of mistake in my writing but I assure u that u like my true experience. Let’s come to story I am 20 yr old living in small town in Gujarat in my f****y my father mother me and my s****r r there. We are living in city area. Where we have lot of neighbours but one is special for me.
I like alder ladies then girls and the big assets always attract me. One of our neighbors named Chaya. She is 44 yr old she is my fantasy and I always have a crush to fuck he... Continue»
My girlfriend, her mother, and father were at work. Her b*****r, still in high school, was off to school. Her two daughters were with their father. All that was home was me and her. We all stayed in at my girlfriend’s mom’s house, all 8 of us.
It was 10 in the morning she had just awakened, I felt for her more and more that I was around her; she was 8 months pregnant by her husband. I sent her a message to tell her to get on yahoo messenger. I then asked her the question, it took me a while to build up the courage to ask her, but I did it. To my surprise she didn’t freak out she just pol... Continue»
I'm an accomplished piano player for my age. I won't say pianist because I'm not that talented but I've had many years of training, starting with lessons at the age of five from my piano teacher mom.
Mom is a stay-at-home wife who always supplemented our f****y income through piano lessons, provided (mostly) to the members of our parish which produced a fresh crop of students each year. For years, I watched Mom teach other k**s, from beginners to graduates just surpassing their teacher's ability. We often attended recitals at our church to hear these students regale our f... Continue»
Back in, I believe 2009, I was confronted by an ex in the middle of a park.
She confessed herself, before we knew it we were making-out for a good half hour before she took me down to the beach and into a small wooded area. She laid there before we started in on each other, it was probably one of the hottest moments of my life.
15 Minutes later she started to ride me like her life depended on it, unfortunately so old man walked over and was about to take a piss. The moment was ruined in second.
It didn't end well, but still a first time is a first time.... Continue»
An 85-year-old visited his doctor who requested the old guy take a sperm count test as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the old man a specimen jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the old guy goes back to the doctor's office and hands over the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, Doctor, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing happened.
'Then I asked... Continue»
A Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one morning and asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?"
Bethany raises her hand and said "I think it's your hands Miss"
"Why do you think it's your hands, Bethany?" asked the teacher.
Bethany replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you so God must takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the teacher exclaimed. "What does everyone else think?"
Young Timmy raises his hand and says, "Miss I think it's your mouth, because when you say your p... Continue»
This is another true story about the chick I worked with at the factory. It just came to mind and I thought I'd better post it before I forgot it again. I hope you enjoy and please leave comments. Thanks!
I spent the night at her place and as usual when we went to bed, we fucked. I swear this bitch loved to fuck more than any other woman I've ever met! and it was very easy to make her cum, I've never seen a woman that was able to cum that easily and in so many different ways! Oh yeah and the best part...She was a squirter (my first and only one)I loved that about her! Ok here goes. Like ... Continue»
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they started a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and
asked " So why are you here today? "
The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a serial pisser. I piss on everything, I piss on the couch, the carpet, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But last night was the final straw when I pissed on my owner's."
The black Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? "
"Well, he's going to cut my balls off," answered the yellow Labrador. "Supposedly it'll calm me down and stop me pissing everywhere."
The Yellow Lab t... Continue»