Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 107

Quality Not Quan-titty

(A short poem written in praise of my lovers' boobies, all of them regardless of size - and I include my own rather large ones in that category because nobody loves mine more than I do, with the possible exception of my lovely husband! Don't be fooled by the fact that it appears to be written from the male perspective - disregard gender as well as size. It's all about the love of boobies in general, but through my eyes and my lusts!)




My lover's tits are so tiny,

It's so plain for all to see,

Though my lover's tits are so tiny,

She sure loves them - just like me!

... Continue»
Posted by optanda 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Cure For Loneliness

by boy scout



Summer had hit full f***e, and with it that all-oppressing heat that seems to suck the life out of everything. At least, that’s the way I feel about this “lovely” place I call home. Phoenix has its moments, of course, but I’ve always been more interested in gentler, more loving climates. And that’s why my wife and I were so excited about our trip to Idaho. My s****r lived there with her husband and seven c***dren. Yes, you heard me right. She actually gave birth to seven c***dren. The oldest is twenty and the youngest had her eighth birthday a month ago. It still amazes m... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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the cook

At the time I was only a teen. At a point where every teenage boy had desires and fantasies. Well I lived in a house with 3 bedrooms. My parents room then came my s****rs room which was next to my parents. And my room which was next to my s****rs. Mine was the furthest. Well my mom owned a resteraunt and all of her workers were latin women.
Woah did I fantasize about them. One worker was Big but had a nice ass and huge tits. Cute lady. My mom had hired a 23 year old Mexican chick. Woah was she curvy. She had a firm ass and c cup tits. She was fucking sexy. About 5’ feet and thin.
Well this g... Continue»
Posted by lonelywolf91 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Business of Pleasure


Excuse me Miss, Is this your shop???"

er, yes, Yes it is, can I help. Pip looked over at the man at the shop
entrance tall, stocky, suited & booted. He was carrying a clipboard and
looked official.

"Can I see your shop agreement & confirmation of business forms, please"
He spoke politely but firmly.
"Have you just opened??"

Yes. Pip replied

"and how long has that been...." a stern look

just a week now.....

"The forms then please, I have no notification that you have right to be open
or to sell or serve customers!" a Very stern look now on his face

Oh, er... Continue»
Posted by verystickyfingers 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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FUCKING FUNNY

I DONT THINK THIS IS TRUE BUT ITS SO FUNNY I NEARLY WET MYSELF LAUGHING

on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney .
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers'yes',he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with (phone number) for verification If their partner answers those same... Continue»
Posted by nhyui444 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Perfect Neighbor's



He Didn't Stand a Chance :-),
They were the perfect neighbor's, a pretty Mom, a fairly large son and a lovely daughter, there didn't seem to be a husband, father. They didn't say and I didn't ask.
That's what I mean, perfect neighbors. A smile or a wave, the occasional 'hello' if we crossed paths. Not noisy, no loud cars, I had to smile as every now I could hear 60's or 70's music, Mom? in between the c***dren's music, well, what they call music.
Like I said, perfect neighbors. They seemed to fit in with the others in our small cul-de-sac. I lived right at the end of the street and coul... Continue»
Posted by chchboy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My Sexy And Hot Mami



Hi! All reader I am male from Gujarat and I am writing my true story first time. Let me tell u that my English is so low so u finds lot of mistake in my writing but I assure u that u like my true experience. Let’s come to story I am 20 yr old living in small town in Gujarat in my f****y my father mother me and my s****r r there. We are living in city area. Where we have lot of neighbours but one is special for me.

I like alder ladies then girls and the big assets always attract me. One of our neighbors named Chaya. She is 44 yr old she is my fantasy and I always have a crush to fuck he... Continue»
Posted by fairpussy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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wet dream

My girlfriend, her mother, and father were at work. Her b*****r, still in high school, was off to school. Her two daughters were with their father. All that was home was me and her. We all stayed in at my girlfriend’s mom’s house, all 8 of us.
It was 10 in the morning she had just awakened, I felt for her more and more that I was around her; she was 8 months pregnant by her husband. I sent her a message to tell her to get on yahoo messenger. I then asked her the question, it took me a while to build up the courage to ask her, but I did it. To my surprise she didn’t freak out she just pol... Continue»
Posted by Tr3al 5 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Piano Mom

First Sight

I'm an accomplished piano player for my age. I won't say pianist because I'm not that talented but I've had many years of training, starting with lessons at the age of five from my piano teacher mom.

Mom is a stay-at-home wife who always supplemented our f****y income through piano lessons, provided (mostly) to the members of our parish which produced a fresh crop of students each year. For years, I watched Mom teach other k**s, from beginners to graduates just surpassing their teacher's ability. We often attended recitals at our church to hear these students regale our f... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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First Time

Back in, I believe 2009, I was confronted by an ex in the middle of a park.

She confessed herself, before we knew it we were making-out for a good half hour before she took me down to the beach and into a small wooded area. She laid there before we started in on each other, it was probably one of the hottest moments of my life.
15 Minutes later she started to ride me like her life depended on it, unfortunately so old man walked over and was about to take a piss. The moment was ruined in second.

It didn't end well, but still a first time is a first time.... Continue»
Posted by 7inchesofheaven 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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OAP Sperm Count

An 85-year-old visited his doctor who requested the old guy take a sperm count test as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the old man a specimen jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the old guy goes back to the doctor's office and hands over the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, Doctor, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing happened.

'Then I asked... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sunday School

A Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one morning and asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?"

Bethany raises her hand and said "I think it's your hands Miss"

"Why do you think it's your hands, Bethany?" asked the teacher.

Bethany replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you so God must takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the teacher exclaimed. "What does everyone else think?"

Young Timmy raises his hand and says, "Miss I think it's your mouth, because when you say your p... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Ex- Girlfriend new story

This is another true story about the chick I worked with at the factory. It just came to mind and I thought I'd better post it before I forgot it again. I hope you enjoy and please leave comments. Thanks!
I spent the night at her place and as usual when we went to bed, we fucked. I swear this bitch loved to fuck more than any other woman I've ever met! and it was very easy to make her cum, I've never seen a woman that was able to cum that easily and in so many different ways! Oh yeah and the best part...She was a squirter (my first and only one)I loved that about her! Ok here goes. Like ... Continue»
Posted by cooterliker 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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A visit to the vets

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they started a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and
asked " So why are you here today? "

The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a serial pisser. I piss on everything, I piss on the couch, the carpet, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But last night was the final straw when I pissed on my owner's."

The black Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? "

"Well, he's going to cut my balls off," answered the yellow Labrador. "Supposedly it'll calm me down and stop me pissing everywhere."

The Yellow Lab t... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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THE TUNNEL OF TERROR

THE TUNNEL OF TERROR
In the late summer, just before school started, Veronica always went to the state fair with her friends. This year she set off for the fair early one hot, summer morning with her friends, Jane and Diane. They laughed and talked all the two hour ride to get there. Arriving at the fair, they joined the crowd of people circling the dusty midway lined with food stands, rides, and other amusements. By late afternoon, the three of them were getting bored, until they stumbled across a freak show exhibit. They decided to try it and went inside the patched tent. It was dark insid... Continue»
Posted by JASON4VOORHEES2 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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THE STRANGEST JIGSAW PUZZLE

THE STRANGEST JIGSAW PUZZLE
It was on the top shelf on an old bookcase, covered with dust and barely visible. Lisa decided she had to find out what it was. Of all the things in the old junk shop, it aroused her curiosity most. She had looked through old books, prints, and postcards for hours. Nothing had caught her interest. Now the old box, high and out of reach, intrigued her. She looked around for the old man who ran the store. But he had gone into the back room. She saw a stepladder across the room and brought it over to the bookcase. It shook on the uneven floorboards as she climbed to t... Continue»
Posted by JASON4VOORHEES2 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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three phases

A f****y is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. ... Continue»
Posted by dashingboy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Our Trinidad Birthday Lime

All day I'm nervous and can hardly concentrate, cause I am not sure what to expect later that night.....

I get dressed in a pair of jeans and a fitted brown colored top that gives a nice view of my breasts. I swoop my hair up (for the adult look) and put on some comfortable shoes and grab a matching bag. Before I leave the room I survey myself in the mirror..."damn, i do look good", I thought.

I walk out to the living room to meet my darling. I can see him looking at me and I can almost hear him thinking, "damn"!!! I walk up to him and he touches my left cheek and tilts my head upward,... Continue»
Posted by hd3636 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Former NZ teacher struck off for Penthouse picture

A former Auckland teacher has been deregistered after posing nude in a pornographic magazine.

Rachel Whitwell was investigated by the New Zealand Teachers Council (NZTC) after a member of the public complained her actions had brought the profession into disrepute.

Ms Whitwell was featured in the New Zealand and Australian editions of Penthouse in "various states of undress, including totally naked".

One picture showed her d****d over an old fashioned school desk.

The magazine quoted Ms Whitwell as saying: "I am submissive in the bedroom because during the day I have to be in contro... Continue»
Posted by billstew 5 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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A Night After Work

Working at a golf course sometimes has its ups and downs. Today was an up kind of day. Getting called in at the last second threw off some plans I had with Sarah but I knew the wait would just make it more worth it. It was a fast day, time strolled by very quickly and before I knew it I was ready to go. "So when can you hang out?(:" the text message read. Sneaking into the shed so I could text her back, I responded "As soon as I get the last cart put away and clock out"

Finally, I was free, texting Sarah letting her know I was on my way. The drive seemed to take forever, but finally arrivin... Continue»
Posted by TheSilencer 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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