Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 105

moral of the day

My girlfriend invited me to her house, I found her s****r alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy, she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have sex" , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you've won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car... Continue»
Posted by jadoushka 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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joke of the day!

So this guy goes up to a girl and tries to charm her by saying "hey i was gonna tell you a joke about my dick but it's too long".The girl replies,"thats funny".I was gonna tell you a joke about my pussy...but you'll never get it".... Continue»
Posted by jadoushka 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Better than Birthday Sex

It was Christmas day. My, at the time, girlfriend and I were visiting my side of the f****y. It was your average Christmas party, except for the fact that this side of my f****y is Irish and loves to drink. I'm not much of a drinker and prefer to live generally sober. So me and my girlfriend were hanging around waiting for all the festivities to be over so we could go about our lives.
We had been going out for nearly two years at this point and were fairly used to our relationship. Meaning that sex and pretty everything about each other was common place and while it all was enjoyable and fun... Continue»
Posted by derpstop 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Women 'as likely as men to enjoy casual sex&#

It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.

A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.

Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.

"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.

The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

How To Behave After Sex

Step 1: Advice for him

You may feel that you have expressed yourself quite enough, perhaps you have expressed yourself a number of times, and feel spent. But it's essential you stay awake for long enough to make her feel loved. You may have to fight the urge to sl**p, but remember now it's time for her to unload all over you.

Speed up the process by making encouraging noises and agreeing to everything she says. The Past Master of this was Marlon Brando, who put his incredible success with women down to the pose of propping himself up on his elbow, which made him look interested in whatev... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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black cock goes thru pringles can

his name is albert me and my friend danna went to a club and got wasted so albert took us to his apartment he is probably 50yrs old but he said he could do what most white men cant and pop a pringles can he said first we had to show him our thongs well i dropped my pants and showed him my hot pink thong and danna showed him her yellow thong well he whipped that cock and jammed it through a pringles can and popped the top off his dick had to be 13 inches he told us in 3 wks he wants to fuck us both but i want to know if there are bigger black cocks available for both of us... Continue»
Posted by h34cwantsbbc 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Things Girls Always Notice on a Date

Do you want to impress a girl on the very first date? If you really know what girls always notice on a date, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to impress that pretty lass within the first few minutes. And you know what they say, first impressions are everything when you’re trying to have a great date! Unlike men, who don’t notice a great deal too much, women are a lot sharper on a date.

They put in a lot of effort, and they expect their date to look spruced up and primped for them. So what are the things that girls notice on a date? Men, you might just be surprised.

What girls alw... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Alleyway

This particular night came about when a good (a newly discovered lesbian) friend of mine invited me to join her to a "ladies night" at a local gay club. Being an overwhelmingly heterosexual male, I jumped at the idea of attending. All the while thinking, "Maybe there will be some cracking hot chicks who'd want to take turns. etc." My mind ran wild in the day leading up the party. I couldnt contain my excitement, frequently letting my friend know what I was going to do to the "babes" in the club.

The night arrived. I'd groomed myself, gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror, put on the f... Continue»
Posted by sirpsychosexy2011 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Increase Intimacy in your Relationship

Describe all your feelings, omitting the Shakespearean sonnets. Work out your fantasies. Ask open-ended questions, and be supportive of whatever answer that opens up. Softly whispering what you are going to do to each other will also increase sexual tension. Show your partner that you are willing to pleasure them.

Kiss to Kindle

There is nothing more exciting than a long, sensual kiss. It is seductive and intimate. Proper kissing requires proper pressure and moves. Kissing can start from anywhere, anytime, even before you reach the bedroom. If you really want to get in the right mood, ki... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Jan 1973 Bondi Beach

This is only part of a WORK IN PROGRESS

As the singer was exhorting the crowd to take part, she took three steps in my direction and smiled even more. She said the line perfectly in tune "I looked at you" and I answered, "You looked at me" and we both laughed. Another miracle, this was a girl who liked The Doors almost as much as I did. “I smiled at you," she said, and again I answered, "You smiled at me." At the exact moment the band on stage finished their intro to the war song both of us sang together, "And we're on OUR way."
Everyone in the crowd heard it and wonde... Continue»
Posted by DocW 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Knowing the Right Size

If your bra is uncomfortable, it's the wrong one for your body. If you don't look better with it than without it, it's the wrong one for your body.

It really is that simple. But here are some more specific clues that you need to go back to the lingerie department:

• The straps are either falling off or digging into your shoulders
• The band either pinches your rib cage or rides up in back.
• The cups gape or your breasts are oozing out of them (sometimes causing a "dented" look under clothes).
• The underwire either digs into your rib cage or catches your arms when you swing them forw... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Knowing the Right Fit

No two bras fit alike, even if they're the same style. Every bra manufacturer makes a slightly different product, so a Warner's demi cup is going to fit differently from a Le Mystere demi cup. A Hanes full-coverage won't feel just like a Calvin Klein full coverage.

By all means, if you've found a brand that works with your shape, stick with it. Otherwise, you've got work to do. But at least you know your size. You're in better shape than most.

In the dressing room, you're looking for the following fit:

• Cup: Smooth and taut, with no "denting" or oozing anywhere; if there's an underwi... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Cute And Sensual School Love

As it turned out I was the highest scorer in my cbse exams of class 10 among that class, so very soon I started getting my response from teachers and friends including girls. A few of them struck me as they were very beautiful, and one of them was she. Even though I am writing this story with our mutual consent, let me not display her name, some things are better kept secret. She was a damn good looking girl, with a cute look, average height of 5.3 and a killing smile. A smile for which half the school will die for. She was among the most beautiful girls of the school. She had small boobs whic... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Does my bra fit?

Heat-activated, anti-wrinkle, iPod-charging … today's bras are about as high-tech as computers. They have complex support systems and multiple operating modes. They're priced just a bit shy of a PC.

The quest for the perfect bra can lead women to extremes of shopping, trying on and spending without ever finding the One. And there's a reason for that: There is no perfect bra. High-tech bells and whistles and the brand new, ultimate design are just the side show. The main event is much simpler. It's the fit.

A well-fitting bra does two things: It supports and it enhances. Holds 'em and sha... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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When Love Is Gone

The first thing you should remember is that being lovelorn is not something serious. It is a very normal thing in life. People around you like your friends, your colleagues, your close relatives or even your ex have been in this situation at least once.

Of course, you will be sad and broken-hearted when your lover leaves you. This cannot be avoided. However, an intelligent girl will not let it affect her so much, she knows what is good for her and will recover her balance quickly by:

1. Spending her time on new hobbies or coming back to old ones that she has forgotten so far like: phot... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Sex up your love surprises

Such situations are definitely not uncommon. Many people who are in long-term relationships do encounter this phase. So why don't you plan some exotic surprises for your partner? Such that he's taken off guard and left asking for more.

Surprises need not necessarily be really pricey. What matters the most is your attitude, the way you show your concern and express your love towards your mate. Here are some innovative ideas...

Dare bare...
Men love it when their ladylove makes an extra effort to seduce their senses. All you need to do is to think out of the box!

Sangeeta Ahlawat, a HR... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

I finally bought a pack of Magnums

I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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BJ At The Movies

I was at the movies with my GF and she just kept talking through the whole thing and it was starting to make me mad, then she started baging for some of the popcorn I had so I did the only thing I could think to do. I pulled out my dich g****d her head and shoved my dick down her throat. She gagged a little but then statred sucking like a pro. It felt great and I could enjoy the movie. When it was time for me to cum I pulled my dick out and came all over the popcorn, here you go bitch have some nice cum corn.... Continue»
Posted by ilovecougars69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |