Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 103
Everytime when my girlfriend anne was at my house she wanted to fuck. She was so horny all the time that i could not do anything else. THe way she suck my cock was so exciting. But with every blowjob my cock started to hurt more and more.
I coulndn't stop her anymore so I said: "Anne, go to my father. You can do it to his dick!" My dad was a horny man. He often fucked with many different sluts. He was such a man who said never no to any woman. So i Knew that Anne will be happy with him. "Wanna play with me?"
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St.
Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most
awful bl**dcurdling screams.Don't worry about that', says St. Peter,
'it's only someonehaving the holes put into her shoulder blades for
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation.Ten minutes later, there are more bl**d curdling
screams.'Oh my God', says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'
Not to worry', says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled
to fit the halo.'I can't do this', says the old lady,... Continue»
The knock on the hotel door meant he'd arrived, and as I slipped on my cool plastic mac, being careful not to dislodge my long talons, it helped to conceal the stiffening bulge under my tight plastic skirt. I opened the door, to a tall dark stranger, enveloped in a long shiny, double-breasted rubber mac. He grabbed my arm, gently linking, and, without speaking, I tottered along carefully, in my new boots, past reception, and into his big black BMW. My heart was thumping, and the pulse throbbed even tighter down below. We set off, and he simply said, "Smoke. You fucking slut." It was hard, with... Continue»
Babymoons: Holidays when pregnant
Holidaying when you’re expecting is now so popular there’s even a name for it. Practical Parenting has these must-read tips for going on a ‘babymoon'
Holidays for parents-to-be are a growing trend – so much so that resorts and hotels around the world are marketing special packages specifically aimed at ‘babymooners’.
If you’re healthy and well, holidaying with a bump is a great way to relax and enjoy a bit of alone time with your partner pre-bub. But before you pack your bags and book your flights, it pays to do some homework.
The best time
The ... Continue»
we are a couple and are very much in love and love to fuck each other whenever and where ever we can!
it was a saturday morning and my sexy boyfriend woke me up by fingering my pussy until i was nice and wet, he then proceeded to suck on my nipples and kiss all down my body until he came down to my wet pussy. he licked my clit and sucked on my lips until i came.
after i had cum he flipped me over ontop of him and slammed my pussy down onto his rock hard dick. i moaned with enjoyment... i leaned my upper body down onto his chest and began to shake my ass up and down just on the head of ... Continue»
hey guys n girls if you like these feel free to come back every week for a new 1 :) if theres a typo im sorry,
she was stood there in the morning awaiting to go to school, she was wearing her uniform, her hair in a ponytail, gorgeous face, her shirt so small and tight, cleavage hanging out from the top, she wears the shortest skirts, and stockings, she leans over the kitchen table to reach her school bag, the glow of her amazing ass so round and plump, she was wearing tight white nickers and they made her ass look so smooth it was perfect.
She left the house, she a... Continue»
i was in my cage , sl**ping, when my master came in and said“ get up little one” then he unlocked my cage. i crawled on my hands and knees to his side the sat on my knees ,head down.he bent down and pated my head.“good slave” then he hooked a leash on the colar that was way to tight around my neck.and that colar was all i was wereing.“how may i serve you my great master?” i asked.“bitch you know how to serve me!” he said suddenly angrey.“now for your stupidity you wi
ll be punished!”he screamed.i wimpered.he pulled my by my leash to the torture room.“get on the table slut!”n... Continue»
As a barely 21 year old, my chances of getting into an "Over 28's only" night at a club were pretty slim...
I invited a few of my "older" female friends down to distract the bouncers from checking my ID. It worked. I walked into the club, observing all of the cougars with their loose skin flapping about on the dancefloor. **Note: Not all of them were in bad shape. These were just the first onces I noticed.
After observing this, I decided to dedicate myself to a night of heavy drinking.
I put down as much scotch as I could, as quicky as I could. And then my dancing legs kicked in. Drink in... Continue»
My girlfriend invited me to her house, I found her s****r alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy, she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have sex" , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you've won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car... Continue»
So this guy goes up to a girl and tries to charm her by saying "hey i was gonna tell you a joke about my dick but it's too long".The girl replies,"thats funny".I was gonna tell you a joke about my pussy...but you'll never get it".... Continue»
It was Christmas day. My, at the time, girlfriend and I were visiting my side of the f****y. It was your average Christmas party, except for the fact that this side of my f****y is Irish and loves to drink. I'm not much of a drinker and prefer to live generally sober. So me and my girlfriend were hanging around waiting for all the festivities to be over so we could go about our lives.
We had been going out for nearly two years at this point and were fairly used to our relationship. Meaning that sex and pretty everything about each other was common place and while it all was enjoyable and fun... Continue»
It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.
A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.
Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.
"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.
The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Step 1: Advice for him
You may feel that you have expressed yourself quite enough, perhaps you have expressed yourself a number of times, and feel spent. But it's essential you stay awake for long enough to make her feel loved. You may have to fight the urge to sl**p, but remember now it's time for her to unload all over you.
Speed up the process by making encouraging noises and agreeing to everything she says. The Past Master of this was Marlon Brando, who put his incredible success with women down to the pose of propping himself up on his elbow, which made him look interested in whatev... Continue»
his name is albert me and my friend danna went to a club and got wasted so albert took us to his apartment he is probably 50yrs old but he said he could do what most white men cant and pop a pringles can he said first we had to show him our thongs well i dropped my pants and showed him my hot pink thong and danna showed him her yellow thong well he whipped that cock and jammed it through a pringles can and popped the top off his dick had to be 13 inches he told us in 3 wks he wants to fuck us both but i want to know if there are bigger black cocks available for both of us... Continue»
Do you want to impress a girl on the very first date? If you really know what girls always notice on a date, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to impress that pretty lass within the first few minutes. And you know what they say, first impressions are everything when you’re trying to have a great date! Unlike men, who don’t notice a great deal too much, women are a lot sharper on a date.
They put in a lot of effort, and they expect their date to look spruced up and primped for them. So what are the things that girls notice on a date? Men, you might just be surprised.
What girls alw... Continue»
This particular night came about when a good (a newly discovered lesbian) friend of mine invited me to join her to a "ladies night" at a local gay club. Being an overwhelmingly heterosexual male, I jumped at the idea of attending. All the while thinking, "Maybe there will be some cracking hot chicks who'd want to take turns. etc." My mind ran wild in the day leading up the party. I couldnt contain my excitement, frequently letting my friend know what I was going to do to the "babes" in the club.
The night arrived. I'd groomed myself, gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror, put on the f... Continue»
Describe all your feelings, omitting the Shakespearean sonnets. Work out your fantasies. Ask open-ended questions, and be supportive of whatever answer that opens up. Softly whispering what you are going to do to each other will also increase sexual tension. Show your partner that you are willing to pleasure them.
Kiss to Kindle
There is nothing more exciting than a long, sensual kiss. It is seductive and intimate. Proper kissing requires proper pressure and moves. Kissing can start from anywhere, anytime, even before you reach the bedroom. If you really want to get in the right mood, ki... Continue»
We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
This is only part of a WORK IN PROGRESS
As the singer was exhorting the crowd to take part, she took three steps in my direction and smiled even more. She said the line perfectly in tune "I looked at you" and I answered, "You looked at me" and we both laughed. Another miracle, this was a girl who liked The Doors almost as much as I did. “I smiled at you," she said, and again I answered, "You smiled at me." At the exact moment the band on stage finished their intro to the war song both of us sang together, "And we're on OUR way."
Everyone in the crowd heard it and wonde... Continue»
If your bra is uncomfortable, it's the wrong one for your body. If you don't look better with it than without it, it's the wrong one for your body.
It really is that simple. But here are some more specific clues that you need to go back to the lingerie department:
• The straps are either falling off or digging into your shoulders
• The band either pinches your rib cage or rides up in back.
• The cups gape or your breasts are oozing out of them (sometimes causing a "dented" look under clothes).
• The underwire either digs into your rib cage or catches your arms when you swing them forw... Continue»