Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 103
I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.
1. Do you do guys?
As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.
2. Do you do girls?
Yes. Of all ages.
3. What are your views on i****t?
Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
Once a upon a time, a long long time ago yesterday in fact. Today I began my plan to catch the elusive one. The one who rescues clothespins from clotheslines. The plan was a simple one to string up 7 clotheslines facing the wind knowing that if she was near that she might hear the cries of the clothespins. Now that the 7 lines were up I just had to wait and hope the wind would do it's job and carry the cries of the clothespins. This quest started years ago when I first put a clothespin on my penis. And today was going to be the day that I'd finally meet my fantasy girl. With the 7,000 clothesp... Continue»
It was my third year of university, in the field of immunology, and i was sitting in my tutorial. It was my only class for the friday, so i was relatively awake.the course itself wasnt overly difficult, it was merely a lot to remember. I was sitting in my tutorial, looking at my fellow classmates, nothing over the top, just average people, more guys than anything. there was however a rather cute asian girl sitting to my left. with long flowing black hair, framing a slightly tanned face. her tits were small, as most asian girls are, her legs however were heaven, long, slender and completely hai... Continue»
well this story wont be nice n sext and if your tryin to rub one out
forget it. Lol this wil just be an awkward story.. I was fifteen at
the time. My boyfriend of nine months was s*******n. Hmmm let
me tell about our first date first (lol sorry) Chris was my
boyfriends name. Chris came over to my house and me and him sat
in my houses' extra rooms. We played video games. Doing shy little
stuff. We was still fifteen and s*******n. Then when it was time
for him to go we hugged... Then kissed. We kissed for like five
minutes i swear. Before this kiss i was a nice little virgin that has
first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Roots Motel Ch 1
By: Friskee_cpl (email@example.com)
It takes hours to write these stories but only seconds to vote and send a message. Thanks to all of those wonderful people who send messages. It does make a difference. Please enjoy.
You help fuck a friend's wife and cum all in her cunt and you end up buying their motel. As Ned Kelly said "Such is Life".
Hello I am Marcus Franklin. I own a small motel in the Riverina and I spend a fair amount of my time in the bedroom. Well bedrooms to be precise. I have just bought a 20 room motel that I will be running with my wife Sharon... Continue»
Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma. He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.
Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."
Little Johnn...y thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"
“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. Then she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?" . . .
They Walk Among Us!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on It saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without eve... Continue»
Fingerme on xHampster talks about her squirting and the fun of telling people about it - I loved reading about her squirting. That's special and hot. So she inspired me to tell a true story about my first and only squirting experience with a woman. I was on a business trip to Miami in a new job and a female co-worker named Lois was "training" me. She was hitting on me throughout the trip and I didn't like her and didn’t want to get into complications of mixing sex and work. So did my best to avoid things for the two weeks we were going to be on the road. It was winter and we had the option of ... Continue»
ABRI JA'NAE HER NAME IS, BODY SO SILKY AND SMOOTH. OF COURSE SHE HAD ONE OF HER REGULAR DAYS SCHOOL, WORK, AND HOME.SHE WAKES UP FRM THE NAP SHE HAS TAKEN NOTICED TO SEE TIME HAS GONE BY.BRYAN COMES HOME IN NOTICES HER CLOTHES ARE THROWN ON THE FLOOR.HE QUITELY STANDS OVER HER WITH HIS 10 1/2 INCH DICK IN HER FACE, SHE OPENS HER MOUTH FOR A MIDNIGHT TREAT.GASPING FOR AIR HE HAS HIS DICK DOWN HER THROAT.SALIVA FROM HIS DICK COVERS HER MOUTH AND FACE.HE TOSS HER JUICY ROUND ASS OVER SO THAT HE CAN GET A GOOD LOOK AT HER PUSSY LIPS, OR AS SHE SAY HER MOHOGANY TREASURES!HER ASS JIGGLES SAO MUCH T... Continue»
after awhile i fell asl**p....still stuck in my bondage..-----While she slept this is what was happening with her master------i slowley opened the door.i looked around not seeing the slave i loved so much...i went all around the house and...nothing.i went looking for her.i went past the drive way and saw a little drop of water towards the left of the drive way...it was one of her tears...i had the sudden urge to jolt that way,and i did just that. i went about 1/4 of a mile befor i came across drag marks and then tire traks.....oh shit.....she was looking for me..... she didnt run for fr... Continue»
'niether is he! 'alexandras master yells.alexandra and i turn to see our beloved masters.' master!' we shout.'dont get so full of yourself leon' james laughed'same to you cathrine' said kiki. james walks up to me and puts the gun to my head.'tisk tisk,i still cant belive you threw it all away.' james sighed. james slowly reloaded the gun,wich was already loaded, to give it more power.he put it back to my head.'NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!DONT HURT HER!!!' alexandra scremt thrashing about in his bonds.' HA! isnt this sweet!alexandra has fallin in love with her!HA!'james laughed.kiki laughed her gun pointed ... Continue»
james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
Little Johnny was in the chemist with his grandad who was getting some medication for himself. He told Johnny that it’s going to take about ten minutes to fill out and he was not to tough anything but only look around. The ten year old Johnny found something in the shop that he knew all about and thought he would have some fun with the old man by trying to embarrass him.
“Grandad, quick come here.” “What Johnny what?” asked grandad. Johnny pointed to a shelf and asked, “what are they grandad.”
Grandad saw what it was and knew what Johnny was trying to do and started smiling at him.
“Well J... Continue»
Planning to expand the story out more for future publication
My husband is a picky eater. Well, I take that back, he is a finicky, superstituous, overtly paranoid and down right trippy eater. The steak has to have the right amount of seasonings in it or he won't eat a bite.
Eggs have to be fried until they look, feel, and taste like rubber. Sweets can't be too sweet, but loads of chocolate on a sweet is ok. The fish can ONLY be wild caught, not farm raised (which had me hunting all over the beaches for a local fish market).
And his coffee? Freshly roasted and brewed each morning ... Continue»
it was a late thursday evening, i was revising hard for my biology exam, i got to the sex ed part of my revision guide and my penis grew like a daffodil spring,i was stroking my penis tirelessley when my nan walked in, out of nowhere saucey music began to play, she took off her dressing gown and uttered the words " let me play with your daffodildo big boy" and then she died. ... Continue»
My story dates from the late 80's when I was still seeking my way through life. I was only 19, enormously shy, quite innocent and fresh out of a failed attempt at university. I know now that I had been wronged when the university body expelled me just because I was in a girlfriend's bedroom at night, but at the time no matter what or who caused it all, my life wasn't going to plan any more. My parents were still very supportive and told me that I had to face the music; I needed money, a means to support myself, a job quickly. Luckily at my old boarding school I had been taught bookkeeping and ... Continue»
Today I rode to the local medical marijuana dispensary on my bike. Let me rephrase, my bicycle. I have a car, but have much enjoyed the physical advantages to riding in reasonable distance on a bike. About five miles out, two in, I encountered a silver SUV stalled out in the right lane of a busy street I was biking through. Naturally I stopped because I am a good person, and I know the detrimental exchange of the bystander effect ( When there are more people around, a single person is less likely to help due to the idea that someone else will help out.) I hoped off my bike, asked... Continue»