Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 103
Jamie and Nicky turned up outside my bedroom window late one night. They wanted some fun, it was about 11pm, s****rs were in bed and parents still at work. I risked it as I was horny and snuck out of the house and went for a ride with the two bad lad studs in Nicky’s knackered but strangely sexy car.
We drove around for bit, I was sat in the back seat with Jamie and Nicky driving.
They were in their hoodie chav gear and I was wearing a tight white t shirt with hearts on it and a short white skirt. I had my hair my usual Maria style and my nose stud was in. I knew what we were doing so ... Continue»
I have had to stay indoors due to my s****r’s bad behaviour(and my lack of supervision of her). Im 24(25 next week oh I feel old lol) but as I have said before am treated like a k** but still free rent so I can’t moan too much.
Anyway this meant I was not able to get my usual chav lad fix. However I was determined to get fucked off their bad cocks. They knew where I lived and knew it would be a matter of time before they came around to give me a good seeing to.
I was in my bedroom getting dressed for bed when I heard a knock on my window. I knew it was them and was really excited as I ... Continue»
I decided to see Jake again for another sex session. I wore my sexy number from last time as he really liked it. I wore purple lipgloss this time instead of red and no knickers
I met Jake at his house as it was empty. He opened the door and dragged me in. He got hold of me and dragged me up the stairs. However halfway up we just started snogged hard and fast. We could not resist and we went at it on the stairs. I was sat on the stairs halfway up and him on top of me. He snogged me and his hand went up my skirt to my wet bare pussy. He put his finger in my slit and fingered it hard and fast... Continue»
well last night i was watching football when i get a knock at the window. its the chav crew. its jason, nicky and jamie. anyway they want to come in. the house was empty so i let them in
They want a shag off me so i said ok, anyway the car comes up the drive its the f****y so i quicky get them out of the house through the window.
anyway as i do that jamie and nicky leg it over the wall. jason however just hides. i go to door open it and then go see f****y into house. i say im just getting a drink of mountain dew out of the shed. we keep some pop in there along with other tinned stuff( ... Continue»
Hi I am back after a long absence. Here is a dirty story about me getting fucked at my s****rs’ mates’ birthday party.
So we got there and I was wearing this sexy black dress that barely covered my tits and arse (Emma was in a nice dress too). Anyway the house was packed Id say 75 % of people there were lads. This Tracy girl knew what she was doing for her birthday. I tried to dance but I am not very good and I didn’t like the weird mix of chav and westlife music.
After I knocked back a vodka martini I went after a lad called Craig who was 19. He snogged my face off and his tongue felt... Continue»
I wanted chav cock inside me once again so went around to the back of the spar. It was late Saturday night and I had sneaked out of the house whilst my s****rs were watching TV. I left a note on my bed, “gone to mates don’t tell Mum and Dad.” It was risky but my s****rs seemed engrossed on what ever shit was on TV. They would tell my Mum and Dad if they knew what I was really doing and they would go ape shit and I would have to move out. I am 24 but they treat me like a k** still its free rent as long as I keep my teenage s****rs in check.
Anyway I went out to get fucked off the chav crew ... Continue»
Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.
"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the
Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette
and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once." he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
say to you ... Continue»
Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Little Johnny is delivering newspapers.
He knocks on a door and says to the lady,
"I'm collecting today... that'll be five dollars."
She says, "I'm a little short on cash, but I'll gladly
give you some great sex instead."
Little Johnny agrees, "All right."
He walks in and the lady undoes his pants and pulls them
down. To her surprise, she sees the biggest penis she's
Little Johnny then reaches into his shirt pocket, pulls
out a handful of washers, and begins sliding them onto
The lady says, "You don't have to do that... I can take
all o... Continue»
Dear Dirty Diary,
Giggles and whispers filtered through into my recurrent dream staring The Devil’s Dick. His big black penis stood fire hose stiff as I tore the wrapper off the extra large condom I took out of my purse. As I rolled the slippery latex sheath down his extraordinary erection, I was delighted to find it fit perfectly right down to its base. I cranked his seatback lower, whipped my jeans and panties off, swung my left leg over and straddled him. I centered the head of his penis in my pussy, and then let my shaking knees relax. His big knob popped in somewhat uncomfortably, b... Continue»
I was talking with my Dom, earlier today and we were reminiscing about the indiscretions I had while I was married. Its not like it didn't happen once or twice, it occurred multiple times and in different ways with each time getting more brazen. He couldn't believe that my husband did not have the balls to punish a relentless little slut like me and put me in my place. Especially since he wanted to remain married to me. Yet he never set me on a path where I would forget cheating, cybersex, phone sex, webcamming or have any sexual contact with another man (or woman) without his explicit consent... Continue»
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love.
All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady
parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming
"Oh my God, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!"
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation.
The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I
have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit."
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever
method to get the bee out ... Continue»
A mother had three daughters and, on their wedding, she tells each
one to write back about their married life.
To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly
discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to
using newspaper advertisements as a "code" to let the mother know how
their love lives are going.
The first one gets married and the second day the letter arrives
with a single message, simply: "MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE".
Mother got the newspaper and checked the Maxwell Coffee House
advertisement, and it says:"Satisfaction to the last drop..... Continue»
True story, though doesn't every one start that way...
When I was twenty I worked at a resort in the hills of Northern California. I was cooking for a seasonal resort hotel-restaurant. The place was, or still is, in a part of the redwood forest on a secluded stretch of Highway 101, a short walk from the dramatic cliffs and winding trails down to lagoons of the California coast.
The job was lousy, but the pay was incredible and the scenery was unbeatable. The main advantage of the place was that it was a beautiful resort, and it was large and secluded enough that it had housing and apart... Continue»
Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"
"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"
"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"
Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.
Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
I'm not gay, but my new flatmate is. His name is Mike (not his real name. His real name is Jayson.) I'm straight, and I've never really had much contact with gay guys. He seemed alright though, and a couple of nights after he moved in, we had a few drinks and a chat and got to know each other. He's really cool, and we have heaps in common. We've both just broken up with people, we both think relationships suck right now, and we both like white wine and Futurama. I think I'm gonna enjoy having a gay friend.
With no sex I keep waking up horny. A week ago I was in the shower, and I got out... Continue»
After my divorce from my 2ND wife; I had to stay with my parents; while the former owners of my new house moved out. I slept in their spare bedroom. I always sl**p in the nude; I don't own a pair of pj's; since I always go commando; I don't own any underwear either. One Saturday morning I slept late; since I didn't have to work. It had been a hot night , and I had kicked off all the covers. I was sl**ping on my back dreaming about my new girlfriend. and had an erection. My Mother came to wake me for a late breakfast and opened the door without knocking. I didn't awaken immediately; so she step... Continue»
I cannot help it I love your dick,
Upon its head I like to lick.
I love the hardness of your shaft,
It’s no game but a well skilled craft.
I love to linger around its head,
And make you cum all over the bed.
And oh we can’t forget the balls,
Cause their my favorite part of all.
I’ll finish the task by jacking you off,
And swallow real well so you don’t make me cough.
I LOVE THE COCK!
I love to eat your creamy pie,
About this fact I could not lie.
To take my time and eat you well,
To taste your love and feel you swell.
It is the greatest thought of all,
When flaccidly resting his mock impotence is taken for granted, lack of excitement showing in his diminished size. Where does his mass disappear to? He looks peaceful lying there silent, patient, waiting for a feeling that he is needed or some sign of interest from a female. Until then he will lie restfully limp.
Then suddenly, as if to show that he is alive, he wakes. Rising tall and straight out of the surroundings. No slow waking, no delay. He springs to life. Nothing to everything in an instant. His size increases to double its proportion immediately.
His head, slightly larger than th... Continue»
He stands, staring down into the clear pool seeing reflections of others. Others that he has known and some he only wished he had known. His thoughts are not the clear thoughts of a man in true consideration of events gone by, but a cyclone of pictures like the vision one is said to have before dying. He is not dying, he is very much alive and in complete control. His heart beats at a rhythm he is himself imposing. As the rhythm increases so does the cyclone of thought. What is seen doesn’t matter anymore as long as the rhythm is kept. His eyes are now clenched shut; grinding teeth, clear pear... Continue»