Sex Humor Porn Stories

Summer Lawns Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Strangely Sandra D****r was growing colder to her husband. Before they had always got on well with each other, sharing a joke and basking in the expensive toys they surrounded themselves with. Now the mood had grown colder, and Charles wondered what the problem was.

One day they had a quarrel so loud, the cries carried out into the garden where Charles was working. He was almost pleased to see a few cracks in the armour, but what he really wanted was to be part of all that. To one day stand in that huge room and have his own arguments with Sandra.

There wa... Continue»
Posted by zeff999 1 day ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  

Sex at the gym

I was done with my work out and always finish with a swim. Pool cleaner noticed me doing laps and jumped in the pool to do a few himself. place was closing soon so he asked for a race if I won i could keep swimming for another half hour if I lost i owed him 10 bux. I agreed. anyway he beat me fair and square so i got out the pool went to dressing room to change and get him his 10 bux. he followed me to the change room but as i gave him the money he held onto my hand and asked if ive been with a man before. I said once or twice. i cud already tell where this was headed. he told me i could carr... Continue»
Posted by twystyd321 2 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The Future

It's the thirty first century and I'm a cop who just completed an assignment. Me and my parner busted some d**g kingpin importing d**gs from another planet making a killing. The d**g was similar to cocaine but only stronger and the both of us came and closed up shop permanently. Afterwards I went straight home and took a long warm shower. I stood there and let the water come crashing down my body feeling all the tension float away after a long day of catching the bad guys and kicking ass. In the kitchen my girlfriend was making dinner and I could smell it all the way in here. When it came to w... Continue»
Posted by my_way_out 3 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Summer Lawns Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Curtains twitched nervously, with a mixture of admiration and dread, as Charles took the long walk up the white graveled driveway to the Manor house, that Monday morning. As he stood looking up at the tall windows, he wondered what destiny lay inside. What adventures would all this lead him on, and what wisdom would he seek?

But what really concerned him, was to be part of all this wealth, to plug into it like a ring-main. The thoughts of those wild sex parties burned into his mind, as he saw himself going back in time to chase those naked girls around the... Continue»
Posted by zeff999 7 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy Housewife Affair with Young Boy

I work at a large bank in the accounting department and we had a new employee join us and she looked really nervous so I tried to befriend her and help her adjust and fit in with everyone. I took her around and introduced her to all my friends at work and had her join our hen fest at lunch to listen to everyone’s gossip and news. She seemed nice and had just moved to our city but she was kind of vague as to why she left home just saying that she needed to move from her parents because of personal reasons and this was the only job that paid enough for her to be on her own she could find. While ... Continue»
Posted by Amulya1 8 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  


Hi, this is a test page for a novel I wrote years ago. It's more to boost my ego, than anything else. So I'm sorry if it seems that I'm writing just for me, but I hope you like it.

                SUMMER LAWNS
                BY STEVEN LAMBERT copyright ©                                         CHAPTER 1   
    Sex was the only thing Charles was interested in. It was the only subject he thought about and the only thing he really wanted to do. Life would have gone on as normal if not for the strange vision that past before him.
    Charles was walking through the village of Ampstw... Continue»
Posted by zeff999 10 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  

Don't trust an online Mistress!!

Sorry for the spelling but I'm just a dumb sissy blond bimbo!

Don't trust an online Mistress!!

As I write this my cock is in a pink chastity cage, but Miss says I'm not to call it a cock now. I have to call my cock, my sissy clitty. I used to have a big ish cock, when hard just over 6 inches long and real thick with a huge vain. Now my clitty is locked up, with the smallest pink chastity cage imported from China. Mistress D shows it to anyone who will look!

When they laugh at me I have tried to tell them that before I was caged my clitty was above average, they just laugh even... Continue»
Posted by DogAndOwnersCdBitch 10 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Running into the Ex

Running into the Ex
-Round one

Last weekend I was running around like crazy.It wasn't until last minute my boss called to let me
know they wouldn't be needing me.I hung up right away and called my friend Chris,Seeing if I could
catch up with him before he left.Him and some other guy were taking their dirt bikes out for the day.

It all worked out and I began rushing around like a mad man,prepping my quad and loading it into the
back of my truck.(No easy task alone)after about ten minutes of setting personal best times I left
to f... Continue»
Posted by JaredBlack 10 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Smallest cock she's ever seen! And a prematu

So I was working the night shift at the hotel (which I normally hate doing!) and in come a couple of very pretty 18 year old girls who had been out in town. One of them went straight upstairs to bed, but the other one decided to stay and chat for a while. I could immediately tell that she was both interested in me and very horny, so when I said I was going outside for a smoke, she asked if she could join me. When we got outside, she made it very clear that she wanted to have some fun and approached me and started to kiss me. After a few minutes, I made my way up her skirt and pulled her lit... Continue»
Posted by 5inchsoffun 10 days ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Ass-Scent of a Goddess

As I sit in the waiting lobby of a beautiful marbled complex, I look at the women around me.
I'm surrounded by beauties of all shapes, colours and sizes.

I know I look good, but these girls ranging between the ages of 18 - late 40s are all so beautiful.
There's a beautiful marble fountain in the middle of the room emanating a calm soothing sound of flowing water, like a steady stream.
It's intricately decorated with statues of Rubenesque women sitting on the faces of smaller men and women.
Each statue is made up of platinum and silver and gold and other precious metals.

The centrep... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 12 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Samantha's Breezy Shorts - The Fart Doll

All credit to a certain Mr. Bryan for giving me the wonderful idea and inspiration to write this story.


"You are so precious!"
A sweet girl gushes as she squeezes me tight in her arms.
It's a good job I don't need to breathe as such a tight bear-hug would have been the end of me!

"I'm going to call you Samantha, and you're all mine!"
She continues to cheer gleefully before throwing me up in the air and catching me,
like as if she's play... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 15 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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How Laura's Tits Got Us Home

How Laura’s Tits Got Us Home

The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

There’s a phrase people use to describe the bodies of hot, young Jewish girls who have massive chests: Jew-Boobs. This expression wasn’t around when I was in college. But looking back now, a girl I once dated named Laura had the ultimate Jew-Boobs.

Petite, small-waisted, well-spoken, and well-mannered, Laura was the epitome of the nice Jewish girl stereotype. She was academic. She acted in all the plays. She preferred “show tunes” to rock music -- something we... Continue»
Posted by DennisTheFirst 15 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Small Bet w/ s****r In Law

The Small Bet w/ s****r In Law

It was a f****y get together and it was a perfect day for us to watch sports and play board games. The entire f****y was over. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, b*****r, and s****rs. The story begins once the f****y started coming over. I said hi to everyone except my s****r in law. We knew each others presence was there but for some reason we didn't acknowledge each other. Although I am one to keep to myself this was unusual for her. Well throughout the board games we played, laughed, and argued. It was a great time. My s****r in laws team was goi... Continue»
Posted by mrlolgg 16 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Perfect Episode of Benny Hill (Story not my ow

This is something I pulled off one of the Yahoo club sites. It says it was written by someone named Wallace Mason. It's a dream edition of the Benny Hill Show. All I can say is, "Bravo, Wallace!"

The Ultimate Benny Hill Show No. 1 by Wallace Mason

It’s the mid 1980’s. British policewomen still where the white and black caps with chequered bands and nurses still wear blue uniforms and caps. The unaired Benny Hill show is about to start. It does include some of Benny’s real sketches, some stolen from other programmes, and others from my twisted mind.
Opening shot Benny lies in bed ill, mo... Continue»
Posted by Naughtyfapper 18 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

BBehind Closed Doors chapter 3

It was seven o clock in the morning and Daisy had managed to sl**p for five hours the night before, she got out of bed and made herself a cup of coffee. Today she decided would be the day to venture into town, she had some errands to run and may even stay for a drink in town. She jumped in the shower and soaked her body with the warm water, after scrubbing from head to toe she wrapped her towel tightly round her body. Daisy decided to wear her distressed denim jeans with a black t shirt that clung to her breasts. She tied her hair up, put her boots on and was out the door. On her way into town... Continue»
Posted by incognito77 23 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Unusual meeting.

A bit of a dive, was the bar I went too, the music was loud and the beer was warm.. But it had its ups.. One being a very beautiful lady, dressed and make up was spot on and covered all the bases.
She was all alone it seemed, and as I was too, I took the brave step, and smiled at her. I caught her eye, and she unfolded her legs that were under a long velvet bottle green skirt, and smiled back.
I asked her if she'd like a drink? A JD and Coke, she replied. She then edged toward me. The drinks arrived, and we chatted about the usual things, weather, jobs, and age.. The weather was mild, the jo... Continue»
Posted by AndiAndiAndi 23 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 3

It was seven o clock in the morning and Daisy had managed to sl**p for five hours the night before, she got out of bed and made herself a cup of coffee. Today she decided would be the day to venture into town, she had some errands to run and may even stay for a drink in town. She jumped in the shower and soaked her body with the warm water, after scrubbing from head to toe she wrapped her towel tightly round her body. Daisy decided to wear her distressed denim jeans with a black t shirt that clung to her breasts. She tied her hair up, put her boots on and was out the door. On her ... Continue»
Posted by incognito77 23 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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You Can Have Mine, If I Can Have Yours

It was early in our dating, Karen and I had read several articles about the "new" swinging lifestyle that was becoming so popular in New York City: several new clubs had recently opened, and with some research, we found that right here in our village was a very large and famous club called "Michael’s Lounge."

Our first trip out was a bit of sensory overload: the entire club was filled with happy, fun loving couples, dancing, drinking, socializing and just plain making out on the dance floor. At 1AM sharp, the lights went down and red lights were turned on, illuminating the dance floor with ... Continue»
Posted by Mrbigdick2014 24 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  

The PLAN !

I’ve always felt that in the wrong place , i was born in the wrong country , living in the wrong society and the wrong people.
So i was looking for people who think like me and never really found someone who really do , especially girls , most Egyptian girls are sexually ignorant or have the wrong idea about sex and even if they like or enjoy it the rest of their personality is not what I’m looking for in a woman.
To make the story short i will not talk about my past experiences this time and I’ll just talk about one of the rare times that i set a goal to myself and actually achieved it and... Continue»
Posted by joe4ueg 24 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time

by The Duck1930

Once upon a time and long long ago, there was a very young girl and a very young boy, who next door to each other. They were both 4 years old. The little boy had a goldfish pond and little girl had a movie projector and some cartoon films. They both liked each other quite well and played together almost every day.

The little boy really liked to watch the little girl’s cartoons and spent every afternoon he could watching them with her. The little girl would come over to the little boy’s house and they would play in his backyard a lot, as long as the wea... Continue»
Posted by theduck1930 24 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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