Sex Humor Porn Stories
Since i can remember i always had the thought of "i'll wait till i was married to have sex so it's special" even when i'm not religious, However i got to the age of 18 when i realized that all my friends were having sex and i was kinda left out... so i decided i was going to go for it. Now this story is not a romantic, or a passionate one... trust me; this is anything but romance.
So at the time of this incident i was living with my friend Tom who lived with his dad in a flat on a estate in Hull called Bransholme. It was just me, tom and his dad and elle; tom's girlfriend would visit often.... Continue»
It started just like every other day, nice and warm, sun was shinning, wind softly blowing threw the windows, another beautiful day was starting. I had already packed the lunch we were going to have, and tea's were packed as well, you hear me humming in the kitchen, and you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me, and kiss my neck, i spin around and smile and softly slap you and tell you that you scared the hell out of me, but i love you anyway, you look around and see everything is packed up, you smile and ask if i packed the bread as well, i open the basket, and there it was right n... Continue»
For the first time in many years I was able to leave work early. “Wine, bath… order some food for my husband and cuddle” that’s all that was on my mind. When I got home there was a car in my driveway I had never seen before, the garage was left open. I panicked a little and honestly thought about calling the cops, but I walked in anyway. As soon as I walked I could hear the sound of a woman inside, sounded like she was moaning loudly. I followed the noise to the guest room, I could not believe it, she was on top of him riding his…. My dick… No words came out of my mouth so I pulled out my cell... Continue»
As we approach Spartakhori we prepare 'Adios' for arrival. I start the engine, we furl the sails, put the fenders out and secure the stern lines.
"OK Suzy?" I ask.
"Yes OK but a little apprehensive about meeting your friends."
I smile. "No problems my sweet. they really are lovely people. So relax, you'll be fine."
Our age difference, 15 years, bothers her a little when first meeting any of my friends, but to date they have all taken to her instantly.
Swinging into the bay we swing around, go astern onto the quay and with the help of my friends, Rick and Jenny we're soon secu... Continue»
While Angelica was attending a nonresidential college she had a roommate who was tall unlike herself and pretty (in a natural, unaffected way) with a lovely white smile. She also had a superb, full-breasted figure. Looking back she guessed she was wholesome and healthy, the way country girls are supposed to be
One spring afternoon she came back to their apartment they were sharing and didn't realize her roommate was home ; she walked through her partially open door looking for something and froze. Her roommate and her boyfriend were not awake and naked her roommate's back was facing her. Sh... Continue»
by Cristiano Caffieri
Well away from the casinos and bright lights of Nevada’s urban centers you’ll find the Bald Oasis Hospital. It would be a strange place for a hospital, if it really was a hospital, but it’s more of a place where people go for sexual therapy – even just sex. It’s far off the beaten track, partly for legal reasons, and few people ever pass by accidentally, they are normally responding to advertisements on the internet.
For avid biker Brian Fielding nowhere was out of the way. He’d crossed the Andes, the Sahara Desert and the Russian Tundra on his bike and so a trip th... Continue»
Alright you dirty fart fetishist fuckers?!
It's Danni, here again. A 26 British BBW who has more wind than a hurricane!
My mate whose profile this is told me all about how my last anecdote was so well received and that there's been a demand for more, so I've sat my big fat arse down (and don't you wish it was on your face and not this chair?) and decided to tell you another fart filled funny story. Trust me, I've got tons of them!
Have you ever been trapped in a lift?
Now think about it. A lift is a small tightly contained box with very little air. When it breaks down b... Continue»
1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .
During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
So there we we... Continue»
It was a few years ago, a friend of mine invited me to his weeding in San Francisco.
it was a sunny Californian afternoon, near the sea and in a beautiful big house.
I went with my wife, who by the time this story happened she was dancing with my friend.
I said to her that I need to go to the loo. it was more to see what was around that a natural emergency
earlier, I had noticed the weeding photographer, she was a very hot lady, in his middle 50's, short blondish hair, long skinny legs and wonderful
middle size breast under a silk yellow shirt. For some reason she turned me on. She smile... Continue»
My name is John and I live in Australia this took place in year 11 and is a true story.
I was looking forward to going back to school and getting back to seeing friends and playing rugby again. I was also looking forward to seeing some of the girls and some of the new girls in the school. So in the morning I left home and walked to school and saw some gorgeous girls walking to my school and the all girls school up the road a bit further. As I got to the front gate I was met by a group of friends and as we were talking I saw a blonde girl walking past and got a good look at her figure. She m... Continue»
I''m not going to say that it was a true story but, It was like any I write.
I didn't see that coming to be honest. When I moved here in 2006 I was amazed by the lack of women around, I mean, there were and are, but they seem like they really don't mind having sex.
However, one of the first persons I'd noticed in my new street, was a tall skinny redish woman, I learned later that she is 47 years old.
One morning I was having my coffee in the garden, after my wife left for work, it was pretty early, around 7 AM almost.
However, I suddenly see a few meters beyond the end of my garden, a woma... Continue»
"It's just as fat but I believe your dick is only two-thirds as long as
Chip's," said Chelsea, forefinger tapping the moist eye at the top of
the subject item. As she withdrew the fingertip, a thin thread of clear
liquid followed it.
Dolf, to whom the subject item was attached, said, "That means his is
about eight inches. I don't believe it. I've seen his dick."
She cocked an eyebrow. "When it was hard?" Before he could respond she
snorted. "Hard! Why do you guys call it that? They don't really get
_hard_, not like a piece of wood."
"It feels hard to me, like right ... Continue»
An overcast weekday at the end of summer, definitely a good day to get a workout in. No waiting for a lane today. We didn’t even have to share.
We finished our laps and decided to grab an early dinner on the way home. We’d meet back in about 20 minutes. I headed to the mens locker room and she to the ladies.
I opened my locker and grab my towel. I slid my trunks to the floor and headed to the shower stalls. The water had been a little chilly so I wasn’t impressing anyone but then there wasn
‘t much of an audience anyway.
I walked to the end of the row of stalls and just as I was ente... Continue»
A few days after my accident at Jessica's house, my mother had to travel for work. Jessica promptly offered to help by taking me to baseball practice and ensuring that we were stocked for groceries and the like.
Mom was so relieved
, but I new exactly why Jessica had offered her help so promptly.
As soon as I got in the car to drive to practice, our ... Continue»
It was around 11:00pm on May 10th 2012; also known as the kick-off of a all-time fantasy.
I was on Facebook and I recently got a message from a older friend of mine.
Her name was Mary(Not Using Real Names)and she said "Hey long time no talk." I replied saying
"Yeah I know right, what are you up to." "Not a damn thing," she said "I saw you were online and
wanted to see how have you been." At this point I had visions of her and her ass all of sudden.
I quickly had to adjust myself as my pants were becoming tighter. The conversation went on for about three hours, but within those three ho... Continue»
Hello and thank you for stopping by.
I am Gabriel and my mission is to explore and try to understand my own sexuality and the sexuality of others, and have fun while doing that.
My very first memory of anything remotely sexual or that gave me some weird but pleasurable feeling was while actually playing on the kitchen floor with my toy cars. Of course....
After being chosen as the winner of the SyFy channel reality show "ghost hunters academy" in 2009 and given a permanent role as a co-host on ghost hunters and then later ghost hunters international, Heathyr Hoffman couldn't possibly be happier with her life as a reality television celebrity.
Being on “Ghost Hunters International” was a blast. Heathyr Hoffman couldn’t imagine a better career than globe-trotting while looking for paranormal activity wherever it might occur. This enhanced a life-long love of history as well as her personal fascination with ghosts and other things that go bump ... Continue»
A fantastic model and a true exhibitionist. Lots of pictures at:
Here’s another true story about Susanna Francessca, sent to me by a photographer.
“My name’s James and I photographed Susanna a few years ago, at her studio in Warwick. My mate Keith knew the area and drove me there.
I knocked on the door and Susanna answered it, looking amazing. She invited me in and walked ahead of me up the stairs to the studio as I carried my camera gear up, behind her. I could see right up her miniskirt and got a lovely glimpse of a tiny white g-string bet... Continue»
I was at a local bar near downtown. The bartender was leing people that nite, and I happened to be at that same bar the previous weekend. I stepped outside to go for a smoke, I was talking to a girl I had just met and he came outside, remembered who I was because we had introduced ourselves the previous weekend as mentioned before. While in conversation with that girl he walks up and says " you have been leid" then placed it around my neck. The girl laughs and said to me "
come home with me if you really want to get laid." I chuckle and say " alright" thinking she was joking around with me. ... Continue»
I couldn't believe I had just taken a long set on the treadmill. My head felt like it was swimming, I was dizzy, I was not used to it at all in any way!
Stumbling at the gym I barely hit the off button when I ended up falling back and into a strong pair of arms.
"Whoa, buddy!" he cried as I felt his upper bod against mine.
"Yeah... it's just I can't believe that."
"It's alright. I think you should check with a doctor you shouldn't be running on something if you can't handle such a machine."
I heard little snickers of the 'roid infested men who went by. Didn't care 'bout them though.... Continue»