Sex Humor Porn Stories

Sex/Blow job before the actual date

Hey everyone, has anyone ever been on a blind date (either as a fix-up, or through an internet dating site) in which you met the person and had sex or hooked up before any 'date,' occurred (i.e., dinner, drinks, movie?)

I can think of one such event. A mutual friend set me up with a woman. We talked on the phone and had a couple of nice conversations. We set up a date for a Saturday night. Basically, dinner and drinks. Place picked out - I made reservations. She asked that I picked her up and rung her apartment buzzer when I arrived. So I did that on this Saturday night (maybe about 10 year... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 hours ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The locker room conspiracy part 1 (Giving the c

A cute Hispanic cleaning lady who looked about 30 walked in on me once when I was getting out of the gym shower. It was really early and the staff often cleaned before anyone was in the lookers so they don't run into people changing. I'm friends with one of the trainers and he lets me in early when ever he works mornings. I rubbed one out in the shower as I usually do after a good workout, so I was nicely chubbed up but not hard when I got out. She was cleaning the sinks as I got out of the shower. She saw me get out of the shower, I dried off with the curtain open like it was no big deal. Sh... Continue»
Posted by Pwman7 1 day ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Not an i****t Story!

Orrin here. After our s****r Steph's (nobody ever called her Stevie, I swear!) untimely death, my younger br0ther Jason and I have been scoping out 0ther w0men to fuck. We've had some successes, but there's one bitch we've gotten to know recently who is very dismissive of our efforts to bang her. She's an uppity Cath0lic woman with blond hair, big tits, gorgeous legs, and (sadly) an attitude to match!

Anyway, after trying and failing several times to nail this wh0re, Jason and I decided to give the assignment to Rusty, an old friend who'd been with our f****y for many years.

We sent him ... Continue»
Posted by Stevie_Notnicks 1 day ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Sex With Riya- My English Teacher



Riya was our English teacher during my intermediate. She was that beautiful teacher with sweet voice who all boys fall in love with. She had milky white skin, dark hair which she wore in ponytail and soft boobs that are a little big for her bra. Her size was 32_ 28_34 back then.
She had perfect teeth and smile of a goddess that made everyone weak in the knees. All the boys anyway. She was every boys first love in college and she came everyday on a pink scooty. We always checked for the scooty as soon as we got to college.

T
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 2 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Muslim Cock - Supada Effect

Name of the theory: Theory of “Muslim Cock Supada”



While fucking the penis moves in and out of the vagina. There are two types of movements that are involved in this process. Forward jerk or pushing the penis into the vagina and backward jerk which means pulling the penis backwards. So there is backward and forward (to and fro) movements involved during a sexual intercourse.




The ‘edge of muslim... Continue»
Posted by Shafree_Reena 2 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Just for Polly

Polly goes shopping.
It's a bright day in the characterful city of Norwich. Polly's bored and decides that she needs some retail therapy. It's only going to be a normal visit to the shops but, being the slut that she is, knickers are discarded and a more sober beige jacket covers a purple embroidered t-shirt. No pin striped Bowler hat, with a donkey jacket, yellow fireman trousers & flippers. She also decides against a bra, it's a nice day, and she'll like the feel of her small but beautifully formed breasts pressing against the t-shirt. Subdued make-up done, she's ready for the off.
C... Continue»
Posted by toffeeman1705 2 days ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Caught Shaving - Returning the Favour

Caught Shaving – Returning the Favour


This is for those who enjoyed ‘Caught Shaving. It may be helpful for others if you read the earlier story. That’s if you want to know how we got to where we are. I’ve had trouble writing this part and so Astrid, who is looking over my shoulder pressing her firm boobs into upper arm, suggests that she should tell this part. Agreeing we exchange places and I watch her settling her unforgettable naked body in front of the computer. Before going to get a coffee I watch from the doorway as she starts typing one handed. The other hand is gently grazing h... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 2 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My pussy problem... who else has this problem? Or

Well, sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I got a hot girl with skinny waist and big ass. Been together for a while... She does everything I want and can dream.. Sex every night... She sucks my cock really good... Her pussy is hot with a nice inner bend that makes me cum really good... Great pussy lips. Shaves everything! Within the last year her tits got a little bigger which is a plus! I get nice handful of tits while I bang her. When we fuck, she always wants more... Always wants me to fuck her harder... I fuck her ass when ever I want and she likes it... In fact, if I g... Continue»
Posted by largo4u 3 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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When my ex fiance fucked two big black cocks

This story is about the time my fiance at the time Karmyn fucked two 18 year olds and made me watch. Me and karmyn were at karmyn's little b*****rs high shool grad. We ended up at a graduation after party. There were two 18 year olds that were checking out karmyn all day and night. She decided to approach the two young studs. After a bit of chit chat, karmyn was able to pick them up and bring them back to our place. both teens dropped their pants and had huge cocks. i then showed mine and came to realize i was no comparison to the boys lol. " See boys my man has baby dick" karmyn told them. A... Continue»
Posted by threeinchdicklett 3 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Dating Game - Part 2 - Basic instructions

Hey y'all, what's up? :)
First of all...how's your Inner Game goin'? Have you had the chance to work a little bit on it? What was your way to start working on it: was it sports, hanging out with the right people, another one, or more of them combined? I wouldn't mind if you'd leave your comments about how's your Inner Game going and how are you working on it, because honestly, I'm curious about it and it would make me feel very...comfortable and happy to know that this Inner Game thing is helpful for you and gives you some results. :)
Second...I chose to entitle my series of blog posts about... Continue»
Posted by roadrigusantus 6 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Caught Shaving

Caught Shaving

True Story

My Norwegian wife, Karoline is the stereotypical Scandinavian blond bomb shell, great body, sense of humour, just pure sex on legs. Her 18 year old daughter, Astrid is an absolute stunner. With long shapely legs, an unblemished firm body, she is a mirror image of my wife 20 years ago. No guys, I was never been tempted to touch. Look yes, touch no. Sex with my wife is so great I wouldn’t jeopardise our relationship for an attempt that is sure to fail. I’m twice Astrid’s age and she is fighting off younger more hansom guys, richer and probably with bigger equipm... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 6 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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In Hell 6

Jennie awoke some time later and instinctively sought the toilet. She did so in the dark, without feeling the need to reminisce the night before. Why bother? It was a bit sparkly and spacious for her usual fare.
"Hehhehheh, I scored us a pretty sweet room." She proudly chuckled, smiling from ear to ear. "Must have been on fire yesterday."
Of particular interest.was the window, which showed a soothing white landscape. A white, silent night, with slow but steady snowfall covering the dirty cities with purity itself. The kind of night that soothes the soul and heralds Christmas. Jennie couldn't... Continue»
Posted by lady-jen 6 days ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Homegrown Video's Best Porn Industry Pranks

Homegrown Video is known as the original amateur porn company and for taking on industry adversaries like Acacia, but over the years Homegrown Video has also played some of the most notorious pranks on the industry. In the spirit of a good jest, neither taking themselves or the industry too seriously not to have some fun along the way, here are some classic punked moments from the annals of the world’s longest running porn series.

1. Don’t make fun of our names…

Homegrown Video was approaching the 15 year milestone of being in business. Newsweek Magazine had declared the landmark... Continue»
Posted by homegrownvideo 9 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bad Sex

So I was talking with some friends the other day, and the subject (as usual) turned to sex. That is what happens when you add alcohol and a group of adults who are finally away from their k**s for a few hours LOL! And somehow we got to relating some of the worst sex stories we'd ever heard and some of our own worst sex stories!!

You know, guys who claim to have huge dicks, and when they get naked you need a magnifying glass to find it. Women who say they love giving head but stop after less than 2 minutes. Things like that. Most of the stories were pretty tame.

One friend was with a gu... Continue»
Posted by lovegoddes71 9 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My Climbing Buddies s****r

My Climbing Buddies s****r.

A true event with just the names changed to protect the not so innocent!

I’m Dave, 35 and I’m an above average climber; muscular, sun tanned and quite good looking, if I say so myself. Joe my climbing buddy is similar in build but has to fight the ladies off. Lucky chap. I taught him to climb when quite young and he has become a very good climber. We have climbed for over 7 years throughout the country and abroad. Over this time we have become firm buddies – drinking, fast cars, off-road driving, climbing, diving, and sailing - anything that you need a buddy t... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 9 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Avoiding intercourse in favor of oral

As a rule, there was a 9 in 10 chance that if I ate a woman's pussy on a first date/first encounter, it would lead to fucking. The ironic thing was, often on a first date/encounter, the farthest I'd 'planned' to go was oral because I thought it wise not to go 'all the way' on the first date. I still recall some disappointed females who really wanted to fuck after I ate them out for what they thought extended well past the point of foreplay. As prude as that sounds of me, while I may not have always been willing to fuck on the first date, I can remember precious few dates/encounters that ended ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 9 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Encoxada... a willing work of art in Italy...

Another day travelling through Europe, another astounding city and the end of an amazing day taking pictures and meeting new people …the waterways, the elevated gardens… the architecture…the understated majesty of the buildings.
Oh and the ladies…oh my goodness…what can we do about those…amazing works of art far better than any museum viewing…I’m twisting and turning my head as I walk along just trying to keep up with it all. Do you know those jokes about European women and flat booties? Well times have changed…lol

[image]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AQkg2dcoSCk/UUmdNNXsRpI/AAAAAAABXIA/shdg... Continue»
Posted by Tasterandteaser 10 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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CreampiexxxThais

Tired of stuck up bitches that want gifts, dinners, money all of your fuckin' time and attention? Did you ever want to just find a little SUBMISSIVE fuck toy and fill her full of your man seed? At Creampie Thais, I do just that. I pick up hot Thai whores off the streets of Thailand. In beer bars, discos, and from the aGoGos, I wreck their young slick pussies and fill them full of my spunk. After I have these whores suck my cock and dump my sperm into their receptive cunts, I throw them back to the world to fend for themselves. These girls are willing to do anything to receive my spunk inside t... Continue»
Posted by CreampiexxxThais 15 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Mexicn 9 that i fumbled away

I've noticed recently that my dick doesn't get fully hard 100% of the time anymore. Just the other day I was fucking a sex buddy and my dick was only half hard. She still enjoyed it and I came but I wasn't destroying her pussy like I usually do. The weird thing is she came harder then when I pound her so I was like ok maybe its just in my mind. Then on Saturday I ran into a ex girlfriend when I was out. We both got fucked up and was about to fuck her when she had to suck me for 10 min to get me hard. Once again I was hard for only like 10min then back to 3/4 hard. Strange thing she lov... Continue»
Posted by dblacknhou 16 days ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Lesbian mother in law, (5) taken from behind

Part 5 of a series. The order is at the end of this story.
I had been sl**ping with my partners mother for a few months and I was loving sex with both. Adam had a big cock, and his mam Eve could lick me to orgasm better than any man I had ever slept with. And she also had a good collection of toys when either of us wanted penetration.I had recently found out that Eve had started sl**ping with her ex husband Joe. She said he could give her something I couldn't. I bet that something was between his legs.
Eve and I had been taking part in a local production of a play, and we had become the star... Continue»
Posted by jackelaine 16 days ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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