Sex Humor Porn Stories

The Back Story Of Kim From The Bar

Well, Here's a new one for you.



I met Kim right during the middle of my run as a bartender. I was in full stride by that time, fucking everything I could anytime I could.

To be honest I don't really remember much about Kim herself, other then that she was a College student, and lived on campus. She showed up at the bar one night with some friends and I managed to convince her to call me. She actually did! Anyway, As I was in my prime, I was already fucking 3 or 4 other girls at the time. The Waitress April was about a month in, Laura the Milf was on call about anytime I wanted, an... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 32 minutes ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 49  |  
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The Back Story Of April A Waitress From The Bar.

The back story of April a waitress from the bar.


If you've read any of my stories or seen any of my videos, by now you know that I was a VERY luck SOB back in the early 90's while working as a bartender and (sometimes) going to college.

I would like to say that there were 2 times that being the luckiest guy around in regards to pussy wasn't as great as it sounds. April was one of those times.

For a few brief moments during the 2+ years I was busy being a fuck machine, I did find two girls that were actually nice, the type you would like to marry someday. Unfortunately for me... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 32 minutes ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 24

Gassy Rehab


Chapter 1

"You're so brave agreeing to this, hon, I'm so proud of you!"
Hannah praised her girlfriend Sam in a hushed tone of voice
and gave her an encouraging squeeze of her hand.
The 2 girls were sat side by side in identical black plastic chairs in a neat,
tidy mostly white office.

"Miss Samantha Jones, is it?"
A smartly dressed woman asked as she walked into the office,
and walked around the large desk infront of the girls,
to sit in a plush black luxury office chair.
She was a beautiful looking woman, of about 40, but the only signs of her age was a couple of ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2939  |  
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Won’t You Be My Neighbor?



Sitting alone, longing for my husband whom is way too far away and daydreaming of all the things I wanted him to do to me, I was bored and incredible horny. Glancing out of the window I saw the rain lashing down, I couldn’t help but feel relieved I didn’t have to go out. It was then I see him pulling up, my new neighbour that I’ve said hello to a few times but hadn’t really talked to, and a very good looking guy.

He had been living next door for a few weeks when he came round to introduce himself; Chris was a few years younger than me but I could feel an instant attraction between us. ... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 2 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4435  |  
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Hymn to Marc Doodle

Oh you,

You who are so
Full
Of the delicious
Sticky raisins

You who are the only one
To fill
My bowels
To quench
My itching sphincter

For you
I wait with open mouth
Toothless and smooth
To caress your poor
Sore and Four
Inch phallus
With Tongue lips and gum

"Marc"
The first and last word
On my mind when I
Explore
My intestines

Yearning
To be filled
With you
Anything
From you
Especially
The sticky raisins
That are your specialty

Together
Just think what we could do
Combined
Tongue lips gum and phallus
Combining
The excrement oozing from every pore
... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 3 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 329  |  
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Jake's Magic Remote, Part XII - Exploration

Jake winked at Petra as she returned from the bathroom. “Everything alright in there?” he asked.
“Just fine, Daddy,” she said. She walked over and leaned in close to where he sat in his recliner. “What did you do? That was hilarious.”
Jake chuckled. “Just a little teasing. You want me to keep going?”
“Yes, please!” She kissed his cheek, then turned to head upstairs to her room. Halfway up the stairs she flipped up her bathrobe to show off the way her panties hugged her ass.
Of course, as soon as Petra was out of sight, Katie appeared. She walked down the stairs slowly, trying to ma... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 5 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 1653  |  
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First BJ cd/cd

The first time I gave a blow job to another gurl was some years ago, She could only meet after 3 am when she got off work. I took a room with a hot tub in hopes of using it. I laid in some frozen vodka and a few munchies. I did my makeup, shaved everything to perfection. Corset, black stocking, FGPs (black and red toeless}, and I had my pedicurist put fuck me red polish on my nails.

She arrived on time and went into the bath to change. She would have been a very good looking trap with some minor effort. We got into bed and I asked a few necessary questions like are you disease free: Yes, L... Continue»
Posted by williegirle 6 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 765  |  
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The ASSasin


This is just a short little story I wrote, please be warned though that it is a rather dark piece of fiction and so please keep an open mind whilst reading through it, and understand that it is just FICTION, not based on any real events or truth, so don't go hounding me with burning torches and pitchforks! hehe

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I loved the life I had. I loved my lifestyle. I was living the dream in a paradise like no other. I had a major problem with money, in that I had so much of it that I didn't know h... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 6 days ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1177  |  
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I am yours

I am yours

The morning was a cold one. I stand outside waiting your arrival. The sun barely peaking up over the mountains out east. I breathe in deep and it sends shivers up and down my body, goosebumps rise and nipples harden. I had missed you. The thoughts of our previous encounters race through my head, making me wet, increasing the urge to just take you over the second I see you, but I must resist. You told me just before I came outside to meet you that I wasn't to speak a word or move until I was commanded to. I move my fingers over my pussy, slowly grazing my clit and then I se... Continue»
Posted by freakygirl1991 6 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 725  |  
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Virtual to Reality - 1

Our first encounter was a virtual one through an online game. My name is Noah and I was a host of a strong alliance in the online game and she, Jane was a new member to the alliance.

Jane had come over from a dying alliance and I was one of the best players in the game. Jane knew she could learn from him and become a stronger player.

We chatted a lot about the game, I gave her more responsibility and they became closer. Jane opened up and expressed her feelings, she lived in Tasmania and her husband worked away from home, only being home at weekends, so she was lonely and spent a lot... Continue»
Posted by uxb 6 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 340  |  
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Had Sex With Boss To Get The Job



Hi I am Neha and this is my real story. It happened when I was in my collage. If you like the story you can share your feedback on my email pavibavi21@gmail.com

Before the story I’ll tell about myself. I was 22 years old with the vital stats of 34c 26 36 with 5’7” height at the time of this incident. I am pretty fair with very good looks.

This story begins when I was in my final year of MBA. I was studying in Delhi from a reputed collage and I am basically from Delhi as well. During the placements there was a MNC came fro
... Continue»
Posted by manju212 11 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2780  |  
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a true story about how a girl finger fucked an ass

so its a kinda funny story im dying to tell someone but i cant. cuz hear me out.

it happened about half a year ago when im in a foreign country on working holiday trip.
i was working as a massagist n as a female in that industry i constantly been asked m i do the 'happy ending' stuff. n btw i dont. n u would be surprised how many men like their ass be rubbed. like... everyone. seriously. too many men even asked me to go 'inside'. i was like wtf u mean inside wt hell? go wash ur dirty bum first then ask me that weird n offended question. it smells n not in a sexy way!

so theres a day my ... Continue»
Posted by jflove 12 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1472  |  
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Pizza Woman by loyalsock

 

I was in a rut. Another Friday night alone. Just like last Friday and the one

before that. Sitting here watching some stupid info-mercial aimed at inbred

trailer trash. My God- I was watching and thinking of buying the assinine

product!!! I needed to do something...quick. Hell, I’ll just get a pizza

and take it from there. Yeah, a pizza with everything.

With shaking hands and trembling fingers, I picked up the telephone and

triumphantly placed my order: "Three pizzas - the works, and a six pack of

diet coke." I impatiently waited for my gourmet feast to arrive.

Nee... Continue»
Posted by loyalsock 13 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1503  |  
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My girlfriends boss.

I had been seeing Stacy a while now and popped over to the place where she worked for a lunch date.
When I arrived at her office she wasn't there and after a few minutes of waiting I decided to leave, then a door opened and Stacy's boss walked in.
"Oh hi there, you came to see Stacy?" she asked seeing me sat at Stacy's desk.
"Yeah" I replied politely.
Stacy's boss Lynne was kind of a Milf, a hot mature woman that seem to have a hell of a body and a large cleavage under the business suit she wore.
"Oh well I had to send her out to do a couple of errands" she then said.
"But you can wait i... Continue»
Posted by bighornycock123 13 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4382  |  
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Toilet sex

I was just getting out of the shower and was about to dry off when the feeling came. The movements in my stomach told me everything, I had to shit really bad. Not really caring that I was still dripping water, I put of the toilet seat and sat down. If you had that "I really got to go" feeling, than you know how it felt when the fist bomb dropped. I was on the toilet for about thirty seconds when I heard a loud knock on the door. "Babe, are you done? Hurry up I want some food" the voice said. I knew that it was my girlfriend Leanna.

She was a drop dead beautiful blonde girl. If you mix all ... Continue»
Posted by thorogodofhell1 13 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2296  |  
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More jokes

More Jokes

Did you hear about the redneck sex position?

Its called: Rodeo.

You mount the woman from the rear, dog style.
One hand has one turn of hair around it, and the other reaches around and grabs a boob.
You say to her: “Geez, yours are bigger than your s****r’s”

And you have to hang on for 8 seconds…

***

A guy is out for his morning run. He sees a tennis ball laying on the road,
So he picks it up for his dog and put it in his shorts pocket.
He stops at an intersection for a traffic light, and a blonde runner comes up next to him.
Pointing, she asked “What’s that?... Continue»
Posted by masterkapt 18 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 3104  |  
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Jake's Magic Remote XI - Misdirection

I'm so thrilled with the responses here! If anyone is on Reddit, I've also been posting in /r/timestop and /r/sexystories.
This is a long chapter, but I think it's worth it!

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Jake and Sarah were reading in the living room when the doorbell rang. Petra answered, knowing it would be Katie arriving, and welcomed her in.
“Did you eat, Kat? We already did, but there’s some snacks if you want. Oh, you remember my parents.”
Katie came around the corner with Petra and smiled. She was wearing a white tee and a tight pair of jeans, and Jake could swear that she’d grown a cup siz... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 19 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1558  |  
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Mommy and Me Pt. 2 - f****y Davey Series

If you don't like i****t stories then this series isn't for you, TURN BACK NOW!

Continued from Pt. 1:

...I put my head back down and realized how sweaty I was. I made an attempt to get back

up for a shower but my mom's mouth prohibited that. It felt so good to have my limp dick in her mouth! So good I closed my eyes and fell in to the dark abyss...



The feel of light on my face made my brain come back to earth. I opened my eyes, looked

around, and remembered the night before. I turned over and saw my mom. She had gone to sl**p naked and didn't cover up. Her perfect body rest... Continue»
Posted by daveyg017 20 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2006  |  
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Don't mess with Mr.Hanson (like Miemke Thorsu

A friend of mine -Ramon- said that Miemke Thorsun sat in my favorite-bar.
She stated before everyone in the bar that I was impotent and did not manage to fuck her.
Ramon said: Will you allow that cheap little whore to keep on like that or are you going to do something about it
I said: No, I guess I have to do something about it.
-Is it the usual gang that hangs in the bar?
-Yeah, you know ...ex-cons,bikers,freaks.Ramon laughed:
-I think I know what you gonna do Hans,you're gonna fuck her in the bar in front of all the guys.
I said:
-Not just fuck her, I will give her a good beating... Continue»
Posted by bigstrong 20 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 992  |  
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Kenpachi Zaracki's Training

Nelliel was probably wishing she'd signed up to be tutored in the sword-arts by just about any other teacher in the world right now! This Kenpachi man... Something wasn't right about him... Well, maybe it should be more like there wasn't anything right about him! Worst of all was his height... Their teacher towered over the class at 202cm, making her one of the tallest men she'd ever seen, but he wasn't just tall, the man was looked strong, too!

Surely an instructor of students who still might as well be c***dren like them would be conducted with a taciturn and dignified approach, but all t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 21 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 653  |  
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