Sex Humor Porn Stories

Night club quickie with my best friend

To start off with, I better paint you all with a good mental image of this girl. Her name is Sarah, and she is a total babe. She was a short girl with long wavy brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and the pinkest little pink lips. Her body was incredible, such perfect silky smooth pale skin. She had such petite little breasts, a slim waist, and a booty of a Latino woman.

So it all started with Sarah breaking up with her boyfriend. I decided to take her out clubbing to take her mind off things. We have always been close, but always totally platonic. So I never could have imagined that night e... Continue»
Posted by AussieBob93 2 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Requirements (English, Japanese) (英語、日本語)

Being far apart from my girlfriend means that we usually leave Skype on constantly. If our ISPs charged us for gigabytes used, we'd be fucked... luckily that's not a problem. Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding ways to spend time together, and in this way, we make it work.

Being on mic and camera for long periods of time can lead to various levels of intimacy. This can be as innocent as a kiss or as naughty as both of us imagining that we're fucking each other until the two of us cum. Somewhere in between are the long hours we sl**p together with camera and mic runnin... Continue»
Posted by japanesesextoyguru 2 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Funny weed cunnilingus story

I have a funny, and frankly, hot, story from spring break 1996 when I went to Jamaica with my friends in college. There, I met a fellow spring breaker named Jamie who was a bit of a hippychick complete with cornrows (that she had done in Jamaica as many tourists are apt to do). Our evening consisted of an all-night toking and 69 session in her hotel room. The air was so dense with weed smoke that I really couldn't smell her otherwise musky pussy. However, I was kind of on the look-out because when I started taking off her panties to lick her pussy she actually said, "Umm, I just want to warn '... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Who Owned Me -1

My life changed on a Friday, just after I'd turned eighteen and recently moved into a new life. That's how I liked to think of it. After leaving the modest village where I'd grown up, I'd moved to the modest town where I'd be attending community college. I wanted to be a graphic artist or something, I wasn't really sure, but I liked art and I was kind of good at it anyway. So those were the kind of classes I took while I worked part-time at Sears, dressing mannequins and putting up decorations and displays, stuff like that.

It wasn't a bad job, even if it only paid for my rent and just enou... Continue»
Posted by stif266 3 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Who Owned Me-2

"Ohhhh ... Please!" I whimpered, spreading my thighs and putting myself at the dog's mercy.

I didn't know what to expect. If he would bite me or simply smell my raw, uncovered sex and satisfy his curiosity. Whatever he would do, I knew I couldn't stop him. I felt helpless. The entire episode had happened so quickly that I felt overwhelmed by it. Everything between opening the bathroom door for the dog and finally surrendering as I opened my legs seemed like a blur. It had only taken a few seconds, half a minute perhaps, and I found myself completely dominated by the a****l somehow.

There... Continue»
Posted by stif266 3 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Toy Run (Part 2)

After the surprise hummer from the Orange Julius girl. I entered the toy slinger on the upper level of the mall and decided to get the fuck out of there as quick as possible. I hit the doll aisle for the girl gift and didn't expect to see that there were so many options. I thought my "mother fucker" was spoken soft. but an employee came around the corner and said, "excuse me sir, there are c***dren present". I ignored them until they asked if they could help me. After mentioning that I was doing the "Toy's 4 Tots" thing, the clerk changed his entire attitude towards ... Continue»
Posted by whiskabiscuit 3 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Tarzan & Jane Kissogram

I got a phone call from my agency asking me if i wanted a kissogram job this coming Friday night, it was to be a double job with a guy and we were supposed to be Tarzan & Jane. I rang my boyfriend who told be to go for it so I rang them back to say I would do it.
I was working till 9 on Friday and we were booked at a local working men's club for 9.30 so they arranged for the guy that was to be Tarzan to pick me up from work and bring my costume.
Friday came and I left work and was collected by a really hunky guy in a nice car, , he told me he was Mark and that he was a model, he explained t... Continue»
Posted by 10PADDY10 4 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Lesley part30

Geordie Ridley let himself into his 'daughters' house at 0700, the same as he did most mornings when Lesley was working an early shift. She used to drop them off but now, with the boys being older, it was easier too come to them. They were at an age where all their entertainment was on-line gaming, and Geordie didn't have internet.....also,, they liked their bed.

He shouted upstairs, but no one replied. He shouted again....same result. Thinking she must have slept in, he climbed the stairs with the intention of knocking on her door. He was just turning onto the landing when he saw the ba... Continue»
Posted by Les1111 5 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Mother In Laws Birthday Present

It wasn't my birthday sadly. It was my ex girlfriends little b*****r. He had just turned 18 and I decided to take him to the strip club. I was waiting for him to get ready and during this time I got to catch up with the mother in law. We barely talked now that the ex and I split.

It was the usual how are you things like that. She took it to an entirely different route this time. She asked why I was still single and such. She kept caressing me and feeling my muscles. She was suppose to go out with her girlfriends since she had nothing else to do. Daughter sl**ping at her new boyfriends and s... Continue»
Posted by mrlolgg 5 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Consultant and Me

It had become a long day. My body was aching and my feet were sore from heels the whole day. I finally got to sit down and relax behind my desk before I left for home.

I slowly slipped my heels off, one by one, then slowly stretching my leg, one at a time, into the air and flexing it. The pantihose I had on made it feel so smooth and sexy. It was worth dressing up a little more sexily today. The consultant I had the meeting with was also very sexy. He had a beautiful face, luminous light green eyes, dark brown hair and beautiful lips. My finger would love to trace them.

I stood up slowly... Continue»
Posted by Dotty28 5 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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MY BLOWJOB LIFE

Me and my boyfriend have been in our sexual relationship for the past 8 months and I need to know what his problem is .i wanna make sure that he is not using me for intimate pleasures when ever he is in need.

At the beginning of our relationship I never cared much for such pleasures because it never was sex actually he just used to rub his hands all over my body and squeeze my chest and my c0*k very hard until I get excited about do the same for his and then we used to mutually masturbate each other but I did it till he came but he would stop it when my precum touches his hand.

I have ha... Continue»
Posted by BADMAN28 6 days ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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My dad is a Doctor and I am a voyeur

Let me explain. My father is a successful and popular Doctor in a smallish mid west town. I am studying computer science at the local College where I am singularly unsuccessful with the girls. I have had lots of sex; however, it would be nice to do it with another person one day. I am about five feet six and as a result of a bone disorder when I was young, have one leg very slightly shorter than the other. It does not bother me; however, it meant that I could never be any kind of an athlete, although it has been suggested that I could try swimming. Have you seen some of those swimmers? Six foo... Continue»
Posted by demonkey 9 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Remote Possibilities 2: s****r Abby

Andrew had just returned home from a trip to the mall that had changed his life forever. He'd only had the 'universal remote,' as the old man at the strange gadget shop had called it, for a few hours now but he knew that things would never be the same. He had already seen it turn on any gadget, physically move matter and the best yet, it seemed to be able to alter anyone's mind that he chose. He had no idea how exactly it worked, and he suspected that its creator, the old man in the shop named Jim, may have left him a significant amount of catching up if he was to every fully grasp its power. ... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 9 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My Cheating Mother 2

My Mom has been getting a lot of attention from 3 of my step dad's friends lately since I moved out of her house, so last week my mom threw my 21 year old s****r a BBQ and my step dad invited his 3 friends to come to my s****rs BBQ party. so my step dad left to the store to get some more charcoal for the BBQ fire wile my mom stayed behind to be the host of the party, my mom was wearing her infamous booty shorts during that hot summer day and I noticed my 3 step dad's friends staring at my moms ass as she bent over to to get them some beers from in the cooler (flirtation mode was on since my st... Continue»
Posted by bigassfuckerfrost990 9 days ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My Fictional Taboo Picture Stories Part I

[Story] Adult Daughter Confronts Father About Having Sex



Adult married daughter says to father, "Dad, I have been living with you since my divorce six months ago. During that time I've made dozens of subtle hints that we should have a sexual relationship, but you have always avoided answering them. Why don't you want to have sex with me? Are you gay?"

Father replies, "No, I'm not gay. It's just that you are my daughter."

Daughter says, "Well, let's pretend that I'm a prostitute. After we have sex, leave me a one hu... Continue»
Posted by fredrogers 10 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Ranam Muscle Pump

Ranma muscle Pump
By lilguy4174@yahoo.com lilguy4174@yahoo.com
Nabiki finds a pump that can pump up muscle


Writer note-

This was a commission I did


This tales doesn't start in an ancient land, or far of galaxy. It starts in a
small off town in the country of Japan, but it story would effect the world.
It was an ordinary sunny day and no one thought that this day will change
people lives. Nabiki was walking into Nerema School walking down the hallway

"She here ... she here" A small man said looking down the hallway. He was
using a tube from paper tower roll as a telescope ... Continue»
Posted by lilguy41 11 days ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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KOODHI KOZUTHA KULAMAGAL PART: 3

Kaalai 6 manikku train kumbakonam stationla ninnadhu, ennoda luggage ellam eduthu kittu sundarathukku oru mutham koduthu piriya manamillaamal trainai vittu iranginen,

ennai azaithu poga maamanaar varuvadhaaga ponil solliyirundhaar, naanum angirundha oru chairil utkaarndhen, luggage ellam pakkathil vaithu konden,
stationai vittu train purappattadhu, sundaram kai asaithaar,naanum badhilukku kai asaithen, manasu eno baaramaagi vittirundhadhu, kangalil kanneerthuligl etti paarthadhu,inimel sundarathin mugathai paarpomo illaiyo enru ninaithadhum..........., avarudaiya phone number ennidam kodu... Continue»
Posted by pussoman 11 days ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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How I left my job because of my manageress

Like everyday waking up was hard ,a routine needs to be done .
But now I'm awake Damned that I said to myself went to mmy routine and boring job like any other do.
I was working in a brassiere we do drinks bar food coffee cake all sort of that shit .
For me work was fun I always have a chance to flirt with woman and girls they love me and love to talk to me .
But I never realize that was causing a mischief well until now.
One day after hard work my manageress  come in to kitchen as I was washing the dishes she was taller then me curly red hair ,and younger then Me she was quite hot fuck ,... Continue»
Posted by thickman85 16 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Granny Susan Finally Gets Laid

I love grannies, short ones, tall ones, skinny ones and especially those with silver gray hair. I’m a 52 year old guy who loves his GILF’s over 60. I belong to a Senior Single’s Group in Oro Valley, Arizona outside Tucson. There are over 100 women in the group and only 35 men and most of them are over 70. So I have my pick of the best looking GILF’s in the club. These women have one thing in common, they don’t get fucked anymore!!!! That’s where I come in, at any one time I am screwing three to five different GILF’s, my answering machine is always full. Most of my stable of GILF’s know about ... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 23 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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A Three Year Drought

So i have this ladyfriend we will call Charlie who, like me, tends to go long durations without sex. Funny that some pansexuals such as ourselves will be open to anything and then end up with nothing. It's a matter of standards, it's a matter of wanting to be single and it's a matter of simply not being the desperate kind, believe me!

Charlie and I met through friends a few years back and found it funny that not only did we share the same birthday, we were both single for the same duration and had suffered that particular drought for the same amount of time. Well I did end up having sex a f... Continue»
Posted by dantheman1980 23 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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