Sex Humor Porn Stories

The Expanded Back Story Of Sarah, A Girl From The


In the 2 years I spent as a bartender there were only two girls, Sarah and Kelly, that I fucked just to fuck.
The other 13 I actually liked in some way or another, I mean I didn' want to marry them or anything, but they all had some charm.

But not Sarah. Sarah was hot alright, in fact I ranked her at the top 3 of the hottest girls I fucked while working at the bar. She had nice long dirty blond/light brown hair, a very respectable body, I'm not talking rail thin or anything, but the meat was in all the right places. mainly her tits, a nice 36C if I remember correctly and a fine ... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 22 hours ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 545  |  
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The Back Story Of Mandy From The Bar

Mandy was a really strange one.

I ran into her at the bar pretty early on in my bartending days... She was in college, and would come to the bar most Tuesdays with some friends for what ever the Tuesday night special was.

Anyway, I noticed she was the shy one in the group, always avoiding the d***ken frat boys that wandered from table to table trying to get their dicks wet. One night she and her two friends sat at the bar. I saw it as my chance to bone a "nice Jewish girl" and started to talk with her. I don't really remember that much about it, or her, other then it took a few more v... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 23 hours ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 480  |  
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The Fat Girl in the Denim Skirt (Or, "How I L

Browsing Xhamster today, I got inspired to write my first story. A picture of a chubby girl in a denim skirt, posted by another user here, reminded me of a girl I used to fuck in college.

Imagine this girl, but with tan skin, pale tanlines, and jet black hair.. otherwise, the spitting image of Heather, a girl I used to have college classes with, and who I became fuck-buddies with.



With that image in your head (and in mine) and hopefully an image to jerk to as you imagine her in this situation, here's ... Continue»
Posted by luvmyshywife 2 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 720  |  
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A favour for Misty pt1

A favour for Misty
She is 70 now stands 5feet 7” has a body well overweight, a pretty face, nice personality, fantastic cook and a caring wonderful mum. A neighbour of mine for some years and a good one at that, she was never the sort of soul that a man had fantasies about being not what a chap would call attractive. However in view of the sexual desert in my house this last year, I must admit to feelings of any port in a storm and even the old bird on the school crossing get`s a second look with me of late.
She had been a widow for some years, the love of her life having passed away fr... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 2 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1366  |  
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The back story of Laura from the bar



I met Laura almost as soon as I started working at the bar. She would hang out at least 3 nights a week, some times she'd be alone, sometimes with another 30 something girl she worked with at a car dealership. She and her friend were a little out of place after 10pm or so when the locals went home, and the college k**s really started to pour in.
She'd flirt with the k**s sometimes, but most 21 year olds have no use for a 30-35 year old. Not me though. I'd talk with her early in the afternoon when I got to work, and sometimes convince her to stay longer even though I was super busy. ... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 2 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1473  |  
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Gassed in an Elevator


This is just a short story inspired by an excellent tale I read on here, but please know that this is entirely fictional, and is my own creation, please enjoy :)

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"Ok, I'll see you sometime soon, thank you for the nice tea, speak soon!"
I chirped to my friend, having just kissed her goodbye on the cheek.
I only visited her for a couple hours to have a good ol' girlie natter over a cup of tea at her single-bedroom apartment. She said one last "bye" before closing her door as I headed to... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 3 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1115  |  
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The Hooker i just had to see twice!

So woke up this afternoon with the intention of seeing a hooker, i went into town and visited one of the famous walk ups in London, walked up stairs saw two doors, one with the name Amy, and the other Kate, i made my choice to see Amy and it was a choice i wouldnt regret,

Amy is a curvy girl with black hair and a great pair of tits, D or E cups if i had to guess, she greeted me at the door wearing a short black dress which showed off her tits, she was wearing red 6 inch hooker heels showing of her toes,

After i handed over the paper, she undressed and told me to undress and make myself... Continue»
Posted by SirWanksAlot247 7 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2714  |  
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Victorious: Tori's Plan for Punishment

Victorious: Jade's punishment







Tori Vega was standing in front of her locker at her high school, Hollywood Arts, when her older s****r, Trina Vega, came over to her.

''Hey, Tori'', Trina greeted her s****r. ''How is your coffee?''

''I hate this bitch'', Tori hissed. ''What do you mean?, Trina asked her confused.

''Sorry, i meant Jade...this bitch trapped me again with a garbage coffee...what's her fucking problem...i mean.. i'm always kind to her.''

''She was really mean to you in the last time.'', Trina said.

''You're right...especially since she broke up with Be... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 7 days ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1613  |  
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Stop: Hannah Time

**If you read "AYCEB", the part of "ST" after I get to the restaurant, and "HT", it helps this all make more sense, but it's not necessary to get the story.**

Today was one of the few Saturdays my wife had to work, so I took advantage by doing nothing. Well, not "nothing", per se. I had my cock in my hand, stroking it, thinking about how my wife had enjoyed her gangbang. I wasn't at all in a hurry to cum, so it was just a leisurely stroke, where I would occasionally rub my nipples, thinking about how I had watched my wife get fucked by twelve guys, and The Solution; a little "thank you" for... Continue»
Posted by LickerLicense 7 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 663  |  
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More bang for your buck from the economist.com Par

FOR those seeking commercial sex in Berlin, Peppr, a new app, makes life easy. Type in a location and up pops a list of the nearest prostitutes, along with pictures, prices and physical particulars. Results can be filtered, and users can arrange a session for a €5-10 ($6.50-13) booking fee. It plans to expand to more cities.

Peppr can operate openly since prostitution, and the advertising of prostitution, are both legal in Germany. But even where they are not, the internet is transforming the sex trade. Prostitutes and punters have always struggled to find each other, and to find out what ... Continue»
Posted by geordiekev 9 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 276  |  
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A Pleasurable Night

I was dusting and happened to come across this story my fiancé wrote. It was in a bondage book of mine. Some of what you about to read is true and actually happened. I wasn't aware of all that happened though-at the salon and at the mall. Just read for yourself.


A Night Out...Of Pleasure


Our day started by going to the salon. We are greeted by one of the stylists. She asks you what we are there for. I speak up: “Manicure and pedicure, shampoo and possible low lights...for her.” She smiles and looks at you: “Okay, follow me.” You two walk away and she places a vinyl wrap around you ... Continue»
Posted by banghimgood 9 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 708  |  
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My f****y

Our Daughter's Plan

I watched as Jo put down the bottle, then, with her eyes nearly closed, slowly lowered her head until her lips enclosed Joe's cock, gently sucking until she had swallowed all of it. It was a moment of passion, love, and most of all, a moment of tenderness. You see, Joe wasn't her lover, we weren't swinging or swapping, no, Joe was something special to both off us. He was our son and all this came about because of our daughter. She was sitting beside me in the hot tub, smiling, with her hand on my cock. Liz, along with Jane, had spent a month of scheming and planning, fir... Continue»
Posted by chchboy 10 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3805  |  
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Moms Secret Chapter TWO

Author's Note: Thanks for the patience. This chapter will contain some i****t elements, though it won't directly involve the son and mother just yet. If you're not comfortable with the idea of i****t, you could either skip some of the paragraphs in this chapter or just go on to read Ch. 03.

For Ch.03, I plan to write the mother's perspective which will briefly cover what happened in these two chapters, as well as other events that happened after - without the i****t.

Ch. 04 will be either the son or the mother WITH i****t. I haven't yet decided. It may depend on what the readers want or ... Continue»
Posted by sassygeorge 10 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1012  |  
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Santa Claus visits Naughty Kimberly Sue

You better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout, I’m telling you why!!!
Santa Clasu is coming to town!!!
And that dirty old bastard spends all year looking into the bedrooms of boys and girls across the world deciding whether what they do is naughty or nice!! He is pissed with one young woman that is spoiling Christmas by telling k**s that he is not real!!!! So he made a special trip down from the North Pole just to set some things straight!!!
And does he ever get it straight!!!
Hope you enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~... Continue»
Posted by imornery81 13 days ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1623  |  
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My First time

We have all had a first time that said its easy for that to get eclipsed by better sexual experiences. But i think its still nice to remember, i was 19 and i wanted to really show my girlfriend at the time i was a awesome but had no idea how to. I was a newbie i was born with a nice cock but no knowledge of how to make it work. Well my girlfriend of the time helped me with that it was a tuesday i skipped out of class to meet her at a local pizza place where we dined and talked about music and i killed a spider next to her and joked about saving her life she shocked me when she said "well now i... Continue»
Posted by Realmeat 14 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1148  |  
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my lucky day and hers

i just sat there with my dick in my hand an my mouth open, there was my my bosses doughter on a sex cam site,telling every body how wet her pussy was .i didnt have my can on so she could not see me but i was scared to death,what if she some how found out i saw her ,well after watching her play with her tits wich are big an firm she lifted her skirt to show her pussy wich was trimend short an neat i was glad to see sum fur she slid a finger in the slit an it looked like she was looking me dead in the eyes an said i would love to find me a local man that could fuck my tight pussy an make his cu... Continue»
Posted by CUMSLINGER45 20 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4030  |  
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ivy league

IVY League Ch 1 I found this story on line

Rebecca Palmer was concerned about a couple of boys her son, Danny, has been hanging around with. Being on the PTA (Parent Teacher Association) board at his high school she knows a lot about the reputations of the students, so it concerned her when he hung out with the well-known trouble-makers. Danny is such a nice boy and didn't need those kinds of influences in his life, but it was so hard for her to prevent it.

Mike Brantley and Ben Thompson were the two boys Mrs. Palmer was concerned with. They were both eighteen year-old seniors at Parkvi... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 20 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1365  |  
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ivy league ch 2

"Umm... well," he hesitated only for a moment because he had his side of the story already figured out. He realized it would come to this, so he had a plan in mind. "Your son insisted that he come to the concert with us, even though we warned him to follow your rules. On the way to the concert he got pulled over for speeding. The cop searched your car and found his d**gs."

"My son doesn't do d**gs! He said those were yours!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, but he's just trying to lay the blame on someone else," he replied smugly.

"How dare you accuse my son of being a liar," she said angrily.
... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 20 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1059  |  
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PartyPlanning Chp1. Pt1.

Sarah...


"This feels great. The sun is not to hot on my skin but it's a bright clear day, the ladies are running like clockwork and so am I. Ten, I think ten moms have strolled by, just like yesterday. I'm so glad I decided to workout in my garage. Chicks love to see a man workout, especially a single guy like me. Last minute of my work out and this new workout DVD "Get Slim 4 Fem" Has me in top shape. And the host, Princess!, her highness. What a bitch but if I could fuck her I'd never stop. Last minute gotta focus...

10 m... Continue»
Posted by cohonjames380 20 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales, Taboo  |  Views: 3369  |  
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Shaving

First time I tried it I almost bled to death, a Bic razor is useless, cuts down the base of my shaft and 7 or 8 on my sack, can you imagine trying to put band-aid on a scrotum
So Veet, jees that stuff burns, I looked like it had been napalmed lol, bright red sores and the pain well that's something else,
I really should have read the reviews first haha
this one had me in tears

Veet -- the Men Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
By John W. Osborne Jr. - 30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies (American: "dingle-berries") looked like an elderly rastafarian
... Continue»
Posted by adventure-seeker 22 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1448  |  
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