Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 3
I had just finished my work out in the crummy gym near my job and I was feeling sore.I was all sweaty too,even though I had taken a shower.It was upstairs from an even crummier massage parlour,where it was well known that "extras" were available.Well, I had never paid for sexual services in my life,and I wasn't starting now.
But as I walked past the door I could see there was a new girl on the desk.And fuck she was hot.She was Chinese,which rarely did anything for me,but this girl was H.O.T.
She was wearing a school girls uniform,even though she looked about 21.but she had the top 3 or 4 but... Continue»
This vampire is just as powerful as the common vampire with only one exception.This vampire does not want your bl**d.He wants your fertile pussy.His power is to breed with any and all females that are fertile.
This passage will tell the tale of how he lures women with his eyes.He controls them with the tone of his voice.Women can not resist.This vampire can not be stopped.He will not stop.His power is to breed.
A long long time ago at the age of thirteen a young male,while in the shower discovered he could cum.This feeling felt so good he would do it over and over again.Little did he... Continue»
Sebastian Bench and his wife Joan owned a small publishing company in the Midwest. They had a reasonably happy marriage but she was not as interested in sex as she might have been, which caused her husband to lust after all the eye candy that passed by his desk. Johanna Patterson was some such candy, she was a long legged, long haired, perky titted blonde whose bum moved provocatively from side to side as she walked. The problem was, according to rumor, she was having a lesbian affair with Skyla Rolf, another rather delectable piece of candy who worked in the mail room.
Somehow Sebastian co... Continue»
I love my job, don't get me wrong. But I have had a hard life, I mean, my hair is a mess, my f****y are nuts, my neighbour is an asshole, and my master beats me. However, there is one good thing that has made my life complete is my best friend Patricia Pussy.
I wouldn't have a bad word said about Patricia Pussy. She is sweet and enjoys making me cum. She is also very funny. Like one time her owner took her to a bridge, and threatened to piss off the bridge like men do.
So the owner goes to the side of the bridge, squats over the the water and pulls down her knickers and she tells her f... Continue»
I was a 20 year old college going guy. My s****r Saranya was 23 and she had just got a job in a well-paying IT company. I knew about my s****r’s naughty life, although we never spoke about it. I had seen her having cam sex in her room, sex chatting with guys on phone etc. But she never had sex with anyone, I was sure about it. She was a decent girl in general, but incredibly sexy from inside. She had quite a beautiful figure which caught even my eyes now and then.
No name metal band concert, some vodka, three chicks and a guy – this was our regular way of spending Friday nights. We were there for a friend, the guitarist but after a couple of drinks the main idea became kissing each other and getting more free drinks. The guy was completely left aside. I, personnaly was totally charmed by Dennise’s soft lips and her pointy nipples that you could’ve easly guess through the shirt. Her shiny orange hair was making her easy to target in that bar so I couldn’t take my eyes off her anymore. She HAD to be mine!
We cuddle in the bathroom, we cuddle in the bar ... Continue»
I was exhausted when I got home. I couldn’t wait to rip off my clothes and jump in the shower. I realized I used thigh muscles I didn’t know I had during my all day sex extravaganza. I did plan to text eric but as soon as my wet naked body sat on my bed I knew I had to sl**p. I went to bed with my hair wet. My mom couldn’t wake me for dinner. I don’t know what happened but I woke up right at 9:30pm totally refreshed.
I was nervous. I wanted to text him but I didn’t want to seem too eager. We’d been friends so long I didn’t want him to think I grew up to be some raging slut chasing dick nigh... Continue»
Since i can remember i always had the thought of "i'll wait till i was married to have sex so it's special" even when i'm not religious, However i got to the age of 18 when i realized that all my friends were having sex and i was kinda left out... so i decided i was going to go for it. Now this story is not a romantic, or a passionate one... trust me; this is anything but romance.
So at the time of this incident i was living with my friend Tom who lived with his dad in a flat on a estate in Hull called Bransholme. It was just me, tom and his dad and elle; tom's girlfriend would visit often.... Continue»
It started just like every other day, nice and warm, sun was shinning, wind softly blowing threw the windows, another beautiful day was starting. I had already packed the lunch we were going to have, and tea's were packed as well, you hear me humming in the kitchen, and you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me, and kiss my neck, i spin around and smile and softly slap you and tell you that you scared the hell out of me, but i love you anyway, you look around and see everything is packed up, you smile and ask if i packed the bread as well, i open the basket, and there it was right n... Continue»
For the first time in many years I was able to leave work early. “Wine, bath… order some food for my husband and cuddle” that’s all that was on my mind. When I got home there was a car in my driveway I had never seen before, the garage was left open. I panicked a little and honestly thought about calling the cops, but I walked in anyway. As soon as I walked I could hear the sound of a woman inside, sounded like she was moaning loudly. I followed the noise to the guest room, I could not believe it, she was on top of him riding his…. My dick… No words came out of my mouth so I pulled out my cell... Continue»
As we approach Spartakhori we prepare 'Adios' for arrival. I start the engine, we furl the sails, put the fenders out and secure the stern lines.
"OK Suzy?" I ask.
"Yes OK but a little apprehensive about meeting your friends."
I smile. "No problems my sweet. they really are lovely people. So relax, you'll be fine."
Our age difference, 15 years, bothers her a little when first meeting any of my friends, but to date they have all taken to her instantly.
Swinging into the bay we swing around, go astern onto the quay and with the help of my friends, Rick and Jenny we're soon secu... Continue»
While Angelica was attending a nonresidential college she had a roommate who was tall unlike herself and pretty (in a natural, unaffected way) with a lovely white smile. She also had a superb, full-breasted figure. Looking back she guessed she was wholesome and healthy, the way country girls are supposed to be
One spring afternoon she came back to their apartment they were sharing and didn't realize her roommate was home ; she walked through her partially open door looking for something and froze. Her roommate and her boyfriend were not awake and naked her roommate's back was facing her. Sh... Continue»
Alright you dirty fart fetishist fuckers?!
It's Danni, here again. A 26 British BBW who has more wind than a hurricane!
My mate whose profile this is told me all about how my last anecdote was so well received and that there's been a demand for more, so I've sat my big fat arse down (and don't you wish it was on your face and not this chair?) and decided to tell you another fart filled funny story. Trust me, I've got tons of them!
Have you ever been trapped in a lift?
Now think about it. A lift is a small tightly contained box with very little air. When it breaks down b... Continue»
1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .
During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
So there we we... Continue»
It was a few years ago, a friend of mine invited me to his weeding in San Francisco.
it was a sunny Californian afternoon, near the sea and in a beautiful big house.
I went with my wife, who by the time this story happened she was dancing with my friend.
I said to her that I need to go to the loo. it was more to see what was around that a natural emergency
earlier, I had noticed the weeding photographer, she was a very hot lady, in his middle 50's, short blondish hair, long skinny legs and wonderful
middle size breast under a silk yellow shirt. For some reason she turned me on. She smile... Continue»
My name is John and I live in Australia this took place in year 11 and is a true story.
I was looking forward to going back to school and getting back to seeing friends and playing rugby again. I was also looking forward to seeing some of the girls and some of the new girls in the school. So in the morning I left home and walked to school and saw some gorgeous girls walking to my school and the all girls school up the road a bit further. As I got to the front gate I was met by a group of friends and as we were talking I saw a blonde girl walking past and got a good look at her figure. She m... Continue»
I''m not going to say that it was a true story but, It was like any I write.
I didn't see that coming to be honest. When I moved here in 2006 I was amazed by the lack of women around, I mean, there were and are, but they seem like they really don't mind having sex.
However, one of the first persons I'd noticed in my new street, was a tall skinny redish woman, I learned later that she is 47 years old.
One morning I was having my coffee in the garden, after my wife left for work, it was pretty early, around 7 AM almost.
However, I suddenly see a few meters beyond the end of my garden, a woma... Continue»
"It's just as fat but I believe your dick is only two-thirds as long as
Chip's," said Chelsea, forefinger tapping the moist eye at the top of
the subject item. As she withdrew the fingertip, a thin thread of clear
liquid followed it.
Dolf, to whom the subject item was attached, said, "That means his is
about eight inches. I don't believe it. I've seen his dick."
She cocked an eyebrow. "When it was hard?" Before he could respond she
snorted. "Hard! Why do you guys call it that? They don't really get
_hard_, not like a piece of wood."
"It feels hard to me, like right ... Continue»
An overcast weekday at the end of summer, definitely a good day to get a workout in. No waiting for a lane today. We didn’t even have to share.
We finished our laps and decided to grab an early dinner on the way home. We’d meet back in about 20 minutes. I headed to the mens locker room and she to the ladies.
I opened my locker and grab my towel. I slid my trunks to the floor and headed to the shower stalls. The water had been a little chilly so I wasn’t impressing anyone but then there wasn
‘t much of an audience anyway.
I walked to the end of the row of stalls and just as I was ente... Continue»
A few days after my accident at Jessica's house, my mother had to travel for work. Jessica promptly offered to help by taking me to baseball practice and ensuring that we were stocked for groceries and the like.
Mom was so relieved
, but I new exactly why Jessica had offered her help so promptly.
As soon as I got in the car to drive to practice, our ... Continue»