Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 3
EVERY SINGLE WOMAN in this world is a gold digger... Why on earth do you think 60 year old wrinkly fat bald men get 21 year old girls? Its called MONEY!!!!
I had this conversation with a woman recently. She is so stupid that she contradicted herself and showed us how much of an idiot she is which she did not even realize. She has a profile here on xhamster here is the link => /user/trinityvixxxen .Why I am sharing this with you all? Because, I hate it when sex requires the person to buy it.I am posting the conversation here..Please post comments I am looking forward to your views.
I grew up in tirupati, my name is Ajay. Girls/Women of any age could get in touch with me on email@example.com
My father was a mild mannered man who worked in a mill. He had one addiction, he drank heavily and many a night he would pass out and had to be helped to bed. He was good to my mother and I could see that she respected and loved him. But I sensed there was also sadness in her and at that time I could not understand why.
I helped mother
my mother and me and very importantly something that changed our lives completely. This happened about 6 months ago. To describe my mother she is 52 yrs old with a typical voluptuous Punjabi figure and her stats are 40D-30-38. My father passed away more than 25 years ago and since then it has been only mom and me. I am 34 yrs old divorced about 10 yrs back. I am sure mom had choices in her life to get settled but she did not take them to get settled again with some
BIRTHDAY BDMS FOR TWO
It was my birthday, and it was to be hers the following week, we always celebrated both together on the weekend between the two! Perverse sods you may think but it`s what we have always done....it`s not the only thing that we do that`s perhaps not what some vanilla people would call “normal”.
Each year a month before our “birthday” we each write down on a postcard whatever fantasy we have invented or read about or are turned on by this year, and want the partner to receive.
Then if it`s a possibility the partner arranges to do sexually whatever it is on that bir... Continue»
It was about three in the afternoon when my doorbell rang yesterday, I looked through the peephole, it was our neighbors daughter, I truly was in no mood for company so I left her outside, she rang again and again, AND again I finally came out and answered the door.
“Hello Mr. Andrew, sorry for…”
“What’s wrong Dia?” I asked angrily, my first day off in f-g weeks and here I am being disturbed.
“I forgot my keys at home and I wanted to know if I could stay here until my mom gets home from work”
“my wife is not home right now Dia, I can’t sit around looking after you” I answered, she norma... Continue»
my name is Aman, i am 23 years old and i live in Gurgaon, Delhi. I am a good looking guy, 6 ft. tall. This is my first story so sorry for the mistakes. Getting to the story now
It was a hot afternoon in Delhi and i was at my bhabhi’s place as she had invited me for lunch. She was recently married and she had all the curves a woman could have. She was wearing an orange color kurti and black skinny fit leggings. She was looking very sexy and like a newly married woman her face was glowing. She had a fair complexion and her siz
The Tyrannosaurus R(ex) (Va)gina; our big bag of collective Canadian Rights.
1. 1. What is RECTUM? definition of RECTUM (Black's Law Dictionary)
Definition of RECTUM: Lat Right; also a trial or accusation. Bract; Cowell.
The etymology of words provides for hilarious interpretations of the truth. Lawyers are wordsmiths and one of the little con games they play on their hapless victims is to change the meaning of legal terms to twist the meaning of the intent of all their Acts (plays). For this reason I always defer to terms specifically from Black’s Law Dictionary, 6th Edition. This is t... Continue»
I can’t believe all this has happened to me, or to us I should say. One day I’m climbing up the corporate ladder, riding the crest of the wave it seems, the next thing I know my life is a complete nightmare or worse. I didn’t imagine anything like this could happen-but it did. I need to write it down so maybe I can sort this thing out in my mind, if I can.
It all started on my wife’s on coming birthday. Well, let me explain a little about Angelique, if I can. She’s simply a goddess, so beautiful and sexy, though a bit spoiled, at times she can act like a bitch, it’s true. And I thought I
I woke up with a start, my brain slowly coming into focus. I smiled as I realized it had only been a dream. But what a dream! In my dream, my mother and I were naked on her big bed, making love. I often fantasized about being in my beautiful mother's arms. She was awesome. She stood five feet seven inches and weighed in at one-hundred-and-f******n pounds.
Her face was gorgeous. She had big brown eyes and a small nose. She had beautiful hair, thick and luxurious, extending down to her waist. Her ruby lips were full and her complexion was smooth and creamy. I had seen the rest of her body, t
Hi I am Arjun from Varanasi. I am working as an analyst in a MNC in Kerala. I have been working here for last 2 years but I have not learned Malayalam yet, just know a little bit of it. Life was not so good here then this day has arrived. It was a normal day for me, I went to buy some eatables from a nearby small shop and I asked the shopkeeper in Hindi to give me some stuff. I saw a beautiful lady standing there having a hard time to make him understand in English to buy something. I again shouted in Hindi “Please give me my s
Eight years ago I married my hubby, the love of my life. Hubby was attentive, passionate and very romantic towards me. Things have been going well, but his work has taken a toll on our marriage and our sex life. I have always had a very active libido, after our wedding it wasn't uncommon for us to have sex five or six times a week. For the past year I am lucky to have sex two or three times a month. Hubby's workload is insane and I know when he gets home he simply doesn't have any energy left for me. It makes me wonder if he is more committed to me or his boss now. Of course, my libido still n... Continue»
I was looking on craigslist one day for some stuff I needed around my ranch. I notice the section titled "casual encounters" and thought I would check it out. Now I am country boy,
about six foot seven tall, two hundred fifty pounds. I am told I look all cowboy. I have been married and divorced four times.
Looking at the ads I could not believe what these ladies had posted. Then I came across one that caught my eye. It said: couple looking for sperm donor-no strings attached. I had done this for my second wife's s****r. Her husband could not get her pregnant, so me and three other guys... Continue»
Hi Readers!! I am Rakesh, member of this group since 2005, 25 years old, Engineer by profession, whitish, average built, harmless flirt by nature, unmarried and a man with plenty of strange fantasies. I hope you must have got a fair idea about my profile. The incident (not story) I am going to narrate happened close to a month back. I am working at Chennai, staying with my friend Umesh.
Umesh is of my same age and I am like one of the f****y members in his f****y. He is the only one son of his parents; father (Mahesh Uncle) is a business man, running steel articles manufacturing unit
My first BJ also my first story, not very exciting but sure what the hell.
Was quite a few years back now, in the days when you stand outside the off license and ask people passing by to get your drink..
My friends and i (about 15 of us) heard about a bonfire party in the woods (deerpark for those from Dublin :D)
It was brilliant there was loads of people up there dozens of groups massive bonfire music blaring and plenty of babes My friends didnt seem to be enjoying themselves and decided to leave and head to McDonalds (how that seemed the better option i will never know).
Against all lo... Continue»
She could just hear Aunt Em calling her over the Scarecrow's heavy breathing in her ear as he was hunched down over her where was d****d over a bale of hay. His straw cock pumped quicker now.
"Hurry up, Aunt Em will find us!" cried Dorothy Gale.
The Scarecrow intensified his efforts and finally ejaculated a heavy load of corn milk onto Dorothy's ass and legs. He gasped for breath as he was a very old scarecrow now.
"You have to leave now," said Dorothy as she hitched up her jeans and tucked her work shirt down inside.
"Must I really leave?" he asked standing ... Continue»
MY HIPPO SAGA: (the essence of this tale is indeed verifiable but also embellished with a smidgen of humour)
Being new to Fort Victoria, I heard there was good Bass Fishing in Lake Kyle with a word of warning for Hippo. With indelible recollection, I did not succumb to the imminent possibility of a REAL Hippo being resident where I was fishing so I continued unremittingly in my endeavours to seek the ‘lunker bass’.
I was just above knee deep in the water when I heard the distant snorting of a Hippo getting closer and closer. I didn’t really think it would come to me because it couldn’t hear... Continue»
Xena awoke abruptly from a deep slumber, momentarily disoriented, but felt a sweet calm settle over her once she saw Gabrielle curled up on the opposite side of smoldering camp fire, stirring slightly but not awakening.
It was the blush of a new day and a pale, fragile light just barely illuminated the sky above. Xena stretched her long limbs and rose. She was not wholly comfortable sl**ping in the nude but her wardrobe was washed the previous afternoon and hung from the lower branches of a nearby tree, still damp. Its cleaning had gone long neglected until Gabrielle, riding down wind, shar... Continue»
The following story is an original work of fiction.
Hi, I'm Michael. I'd like to tell you a story about an experience I had
not too long ago. It really was just sort of a taste, but it's something I
can't stop thinking about- something that just makes me want more.
It was just a normal Friday night and I was hanging out at an apartment
with a bunch of my friends. The apartment isn't anything special - just a
small two bedroom/bathroom with sparse furnishings - ... Continue»
[CONTINUED FROM THE SECOND INSTALLMENT...]
September, 1st, 2013
Dublin Night Club
Hmmh. Coming here to the club was just a swift choice on my part. Just came here with me friends to have a good time or some "craic", not the d**g ahaha. Just a bit of fun. Gettin' a bit of time off filming. Finished filming my movie "How I Live Now". Got some premieres lined up soon. No harm done...
My friends assured me I wouldn't have paparazzi flashing cameras at my face. Sometimes it can get to be a bit too much. Not a big fan of alchoh
Making Julia fuck her boss The first time I brought it up, Julia was set against the idea of fucking her boss. Her biggest argument was that by doing it, it could make things
incredibly awkward for her at work. But he was much older than him, and she wasn’t attracted to him at all. I dropped the idea for a few weeks,
but decided to ask her again. Persistence paid off. I guess she could see what this was something I really wanted, so she reluctantly agreed.
We decided to do it after her next staff party. She’d have a few drinks, get him to drive her home, and then invite him in. When they go... Continue»