Sex Humor Porn Stories
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Mr Mushroom

Everyone (and everything) in this story was over eighteen years old at the time of writing.

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He was new to the town, having moved for work, and he had moved into the apartment six weeks before. His wife would follow in another two long weeks. He was lonely, but he consoled himself with lengthy ambles through the Mid Western town's abundant forested parkland. The man lived on one side and worked on the other side of a particularly large and beautiful park, which stretched nearly to the downtown area, and split right through the most direct routes from work to home, and home to work. Ev... Continue»
Posted by hypoliteriddle 28 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Teachers Pet.

It was a young 15 year old lads dream come true, we had a new teacher, Miss Newton my raving hormones told me she was the best looking woman in the world, tall, blonde, slim figure, nice tits and if I knew what a good fuck was I'd have given her one.

I wasn't the brightest pupil in the class or the dumbest, somewhere in between, but I was guilty of daydreaming, I would often drift off into a world of my own for most of the lessons, even more so now we had a gorgeous teacher I could drift of with and think lewd thoughts about. God if she could have read my mind I'd never come out of prison,... Continue»
Posted by Sapper0129 29 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

MANAGEMENT REPLY

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work ... Continue»
Posted by XXXNoBounds 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Dr. Goo & the Dalicks

Dr. Goo had just picked up his companion Rosy Palm, a hot red head nympho from the planet Earth, and was operating the controls in his HARDIS, looking up from time to time to check her out. Rosy spoke up after taking in the awesome surrounding of the space ship they were flying in, “so, what exactly is this HARDIS?”
Dr. Goo said “it stands for Horny And Arousing Device for Interstellar Swinging.”
“So Cool, it’s bigger on the inside,” she giggled “almost like me, that night on earth after you rescued me from the Orgymen.”
“yes, that’s why I wanted to bring you along, your not like the o... Continue»
Posted by JimmyNJenny69 1 month ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Spray tanning


HOT & HEALTHY HABITS
Home
RETREAT!!
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About
What This Spray Tanner REALLY Thinks of Her Clients
Amanda Adams, CPT

It was one of the best, yet saddest jobs I ever had.

In college, I worked at the only tanning salon in town. Confession: I loved it. However, there was one part of my job that I dreaded more than any other—giving spray tans. (But not for the reasons you might be thinking… keep reading. And if you've read this blog before, you need to read it again).

Since this was the only spray tanning place in town, I saw women of all ages, sizes, skin tones and height. ... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Horny men

Mike came in to my apartment yesterday afternoon looking pretty angry. When asked what his problem was, ‘his girl would not let him do her in the ass’ was the answer… I honestly laughed; this dude is 6’5-230lbs (I think, cause he is ripped) and his girl who is Spanish is about 5’2-160lbs (cute sexy chubby girl) and he can’t get her to take it in the ass, well after thinking about it, if he f***ed her that’s **** right there.

Mike sat down rubbing his crotch, “dude go relieve yourself in the bathroom if you need to” I said to him still smiling. “You don’t get it b*o… I came home horny as fu... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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My Prim and Proper Slut Queen

This story is for those who closet freaks that choose not to come out!! (And everyone else) ENJOY!!

I got invited to dinner at my girlfriend Adrienne parent's house one evening. I had met with them on our 1st official date several months back before when she was nothing more than a sweet, innocent 22 year old (yeah, right). Come to find out she was not as innocent as she tried to portray herself in public. Behind closed doors, she was a closet freak that loved sex, but also loved being in control. Adrienne always want sex on her terms. I would break her sometimes but it always ended with a ... Continue»
Posted by jucoxfer 1 month ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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the freak n me

Hi I'm a freak ass man. that like to dress up in women pantie and play with my 2 dildo so one day I got on my computer and put a picture up in me in some sexy pantie and said LOOKING FOR SOME BIG DICK and as soon I post it I got 8 hits so I start to talk and telling the I need a the biggest dick on here so a white guy put up a picture of his dick and I was like WOW that big so I start to hook it up so I can have that he must b horny as me he give me his number so I can call him so I call him and give him the in for he needs so while I was waiting I did some couple line of coke and smoke some ... Continue»
Posted by SISAlando69 1 month ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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My photo-shoot with Susanna Francessca

This story about a photo-shoot with Susanna Francessca was sent to me by Brian. Thanks, Brian.

“Kevin, it’s so good to read stories about Susanna Francessca and to see pictures and videos of her. I did a photo-shoot with her at her photo-studio with her and it was fantastic to see her getting naked for my camera. I just wish I’d shot a video of her, stripping off. What a girl !!!!!

It was the first time I’d booked a topless model and I was nervous as hell. I mean, how was I going to build up the courage to ask her to take her bra off? I just didn’t know. But, I shouldn’t have worr... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 month ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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FIRST TIME EVER LOSING MY VIRGINITY TO THE GIRL OF

I think ever since I can remember, I was the hopeless romantic. I would open doors, pull chairs, bring flowers, and offer my assistance if someone needed help. It seems like this art form is dying day by day right in front of our eyes. I can assure you, there is nothing romantic about what transpired in my first encounter that cold January night! I remember it like was yesterday, not in a good or bad way, just as one of the funniest sex stories I will write about of sexual encounters of my life. Hopefully if you guys like this one I will have many more to add to the list! I am a goof ball and ... Continue»
Posted by SANCHO----CLAUS 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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best pussy/ass I ever had

I'm shacked up with a woman now, so it's kinda cool to go down memory lane and remember the hottest/sexiest women I've ever had the pleasure of being with in a carnal way. :)

3 years ago I was single and a friend asked if I wanted to go down to the Outer Banks (North Carolina). His f****y rented a 3 story beachhouse there every 2 years for 2 weeks, and like 10 or so of his relatives would go there. I said sure.

We drove down there and the place was awesome. Walking distance from the ocean, its own private pool/hot tub, 2 kitchens. Anyway his mom's cousin was there. She like like 55 or s... Continue»
Posted by bbwlover1138 1 month ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Truths and Dares

How did I find myself here? Here being running down the side of the road completely naked. I suppose that is what happens when you mix some young adults with too much time and maybe too much alcohol. It was Memorial Day weekend, so naturally an excuse to have a party. It started off innocent enough, margaritas and hamburgers on the grill. The girls sunbathed in their bikinis while the menfolk prepared the fire cooked food. A few hours and six pitchers of margaritas later the sun was setting but things were only heating up for us. The five of us that were left were sitting around a fire pit mak... Continue»
Posted by rhyze 1 month ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Nakasanayang Pagta-talik

Nakasanayang Pagta-talik by:RIDGZ

Kagagaling lang ni Rina sa trabaho ng gabi na ng umuwi siya at marami siyang na download na porn sa laptop nya sa opisina kaya naman tig-libog ang pekpek nya ngayon. Agad niyang binuksan ang pinto at nakita nya na nagulat pa ang nakakadena pa ring si Josh. Dati itong janitor sa opisina na ngayon ay sex slave nya na.

Inalok nya ng malaking sahod ang macho at gwapong lalaki na hindi nito inakala na para maging sex slave pala. Maganda, maya... Continue»
Posted by ridgz 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sex Questions

1. Have you ever had intercourse? Yes

2. Oral sex? Yes

3. Licked an ass? Yes

4. Had your ass licked? Yes

5. Stuck your tongue in their ass? Yes

6. Swallowed cum? Nope

7. Practiced bondage or BDSM? Experimented a little

8. Had anal sex? No

9. Had an orgasm from anal sex? Nope

10. Ever squirted or made someone squirt? Yes, dated a squirted for a while

11. Had sex with someone of the same sex? Nope

12. Did a threesome? Yes MMF

13. Did a foursome? Nope

14. Been in an orgy? Nope

15. Been in a gangbang? Nope

16. Had sex in public? Yes, good ole
... Continue»
Posted by AussieBob93 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My first black girl. Right place at the right time

MY FIRST BLACK GIRL!!

I am going to tell you guys a little about myself! I grew up in a Catholic household! I am the SEVENTH SON of a big f****y! Big enough that we can play any sport out there and have replacements. I was a bright student growing up and always at the top of my class and that was the case until I got on involved with sports. To say that in my f****y we are super competitive is an understatement. I was the captain of our soccer team 3 years and 1 of the 4 captains in our football for 2 years. Sports were my life! They just came naturally! I also played baseball. I didn't tou... Continue»
Posted by SANCHO----CLAUS 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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As wingman I had a better night than the dude for

Hey, how many of you have had similar experiences to this - you 'take one for the team' for your friend (guy or gal) and you end up having the far better session than your friend and the so-called better looking date. One occasion is still so vivid in my mind. I think it worked out this way because I would always have marathon hook-ups. 69 or fuck, rest, go again, and sometimes go for round three before the sun would come up. When I've taken one for the team, these women were no exception. In fact, it was more likely I'd cum 2-3 times in those situations.

This time I'm recollecting I was ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 1 month ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Telling a Woman the Truth about her Vaginal Odor

When I was single and using aol to meet women I chatted with a self-proclaimed 'curvy' 24-year-old gal named Lisa. I didn't see any photo of her ahead of time (and this was before the days of built-in cameras/skyping) but she did tell me that she had red hair on top and on the bottom. I followed up by asking if she shaved or trimmed any of her pubic hair. Her response was music to my ears(or eyes since we were chatting): "No, but it's like in between strawberry blonde and red, so I always thought it was kind of pretty." Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I love pussy hair no matter ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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~HollyJully and Kookooakchu12's Cherry Poppin

Kooks was called to spend the night at Holly’s house, due to her Guardians are leaving her home alone for the weekend and believed to trust Kookoo to take care of her and respect their house rules. So he asked his older b*****r to drive him downtown to go to her house. After His b*****r dropped him off, Holly’s guardians came and hugged him and kissed him welcoming him to the home and explaining where the food is and where to hook up the PS4 to play Final Fantasy Type-0 and money for emergencies or for walking down the street to shop at a food mart and a restaurant. Holly was annoyed and kept... Continue»
Posted by Kookooakchu12 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Susanna Francessca Stripper

This is another story sent to me about British stripper and glamour model Susanna Francessca. She’s gorgeous and if you Google her name, you’ll find lots of videos and pictures of her. Anyway, here’s the story. Thanks for this, Jeff.

“I remember this lovely girl. I used to go to a bar in Birmingham, in The Midlands part of the UK. Every Friday night, the owner used to get a stripper in. He didn’t charge us anything, but we drank and spent a lot of money there, so it was his way of thanking us. It was always at about 9pm and he’d close the bar to everyone else, so it was only his regu... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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kiss

Margarete Klier Teil 1 -
Verführung einer ahnungslosen Unbekannten und das Abrichten zur Internetsklavin

Wir hatten uns im Internet kennen gelernt. Oft haben wir uns durch schreiben, unsere fantasievollen Gedanken ausgetauscht.
Du wurdest immer neugieriger auf dem was ich Dir so erzählte.
An einem Abend hast Du geschrieben, es einmal selbst zu erleben und dass Du Lust hättest Dich einmal zu treffen. Gesagt getan.
Wir vereinbarten uns einen Zeitpunkt und wir trafen uns bei mir zu Hause.
Zur Sicherheit hatten wir uns ein Wort ausgemacht, um in bestimmten Situationen dem Anderen klar zu ... Continue»
Posted by heinz666666 1 month ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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