Sex Humor Porn Stories

painful and punishing found out.

Local women and wife of a truck driver was hot. The day he left she started calling the local boys. I had my opportunity and jumped on her like a rabbit. Was a young k** and excited to feel her adult hot box. Friend and I took turns fucking and watching the other fuck. She would call the other over and suck him hard before the other finished. She fucked us both dry and sucked my cock sore. I was know for having a big cock, but I was young then. The terry b*****rs were the lost teen long cock swingers. Frined and I knew where to get and watch her bed room.
One terry b*****r bent her over the ... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 19 hours ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 295  |  1

THE WALKING FUCKERS, Complete Story

THE WALKING FUCKERS


It was supposed to be a weak RNA strand that
disabled the enemy then withered.
The vector virus had other ideas.
It found a single, mutated Ecoli bacterium
and mated with it.
Military “Intelligence” had finally fucked us all.


“M0m will be furious with me,” I thought, lying in bed,
trying to figure how I'd refuse the “corrective” surgery
and not get kicked out of the house.
The alarm clock beeped.

“I'm 18, why NOW?? I grew up this way! NO, mom, NO!”

Fifty rehearsals in my head.
I waited.
Nothing.

Then voices in the street.
I looked out the w
... Continue»
Posted by yutubeslut 2 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 333  |  
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The Toy Run (Part 1)

It was a pain in the ass, but always worth it in the long run. Ya had to deal with folks who were either tryin' to be somthing they were not or looked down their noses at you while they took money from you. Not being one to trip till it was time to trip, it took alot more than facial expressions and wanna be's to get the ol' panites in a wad. The weather was at least warm and the roads were dry when I headed to the local toy slinger to pick up " a new unwrapped item for a boy....and a girl"

To start off the story, a cop pulled in behind me when I entered the parking lot at the local m... Continue»
Posted by whiskabiscuit 2 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 442  |  
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THE WALKING FUCKERS, Episode Three

THE WALKING FUCKERS Episode Three


I woke up the next morning to peace and quiet and
the stench of stale ur!ne from my mattress.

I was curled up at the foot of the bed away from
the wet spot.

“EWW!!” I said aloud, this mattress has got to go!

I removed the barricade; the narrow end of my dresser
against the door and my heavy nightstand wedged
between it and the wall at the other end.

Thanks to my br0ther again for teaching me how
to barricade a door the right way.

He still wasn't home. Where the fuck could he be?
Duh, out fucking, where else?

I took a handful of
... Continue»
Posted by yutubeslut 3 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 339  |  
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I fucked lisa's husband

I've known Lisa for a few years now and never really expected what was to happen. We had many of the same friends and got along great. But lost contact for nearly a year. I found out she had moved from London to Oxford with her new husband now and worked as a financial advisor from home, but otherwise was the same girl. I got her new number from another friend and called her.

“Hi liss, heard you moved near me? How is everything? We need a good catch up.” I said excited to have a friend near by.

“oh hi Kiran, I was wondering if you have any free time?” Lisa asked with what I thought was ... Continue»
Posted by obi_malluda 5 days ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3508  |  
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Lisa's Song

She’s a red hot mama, rides a bike built in Hell.
Got legs stretch to Heaven and she works them well.
Her Pussy’s a cathedral a place for to pray.
Nipples like rock candy melt in your mouth all day.
Her ass rides high up on those stems.
She’ll make you suck it till She comes again and again.

She spread herself on the couch her slot just a drippin’. She said,
“Show me your stuff, let me be your sex kitten.”
I dropped my pants and fell to my knees started slurping that juice like a bear in the bee’s.

I chugged down her juice a cocktail of lust. I licked her back door, it was wet a... Continue»
Posted by toolinthroughlife 6 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 206  |  
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Sex Dares and cheating

I was at a party with a big group of guy friends and girl friends. My girl friend came with me. I am a shy guy, but We ended up all playing a game of dares with one rule. The dares had to be done, no backing out. I didn't like the idea but after an hour of funny and daft things, drinking games and stuff things became a little spicy.

Firstly the guys were dared to reduce themselves to boxer shorts only which the girls loved. I kept catching my GF staring at this other guys cock bulge which was clearly large, extra large. My GF was dared to kiss one of the guys which I didnt like the idea of,... Continue»
Posted by massivepenis21 6 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2333  |  
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Terribly Sorry - Highly Cynical and Ironic Tale

'Terribly, terribly sorry.' She gushes over the phone to me.

I'm terribly sorry too... in a way...

*

I had first laid my eyes on her, about a year ago, when she had started as a counter assistant in the hardware shop where I worked. At first hadn't really been that struck by her but as time had gone by and I had got to know her I kind of became addicted to her... maybe obsessed... and I don't really know why because underneath I was a cold fish... a very cold and calculating fish.

I have to admit that I'm an enigma... at least to myself... because though there's a part of me that'... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 6 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 452

How I like my sex

I love sex, but only a certain kind is guaranteed to make me a happy girl.

You would have to kiss on my neck, you know the way. My headed all the way back, you roughly kissing and biting my neck.

While your kissing on my neck your hands would find a way to my breast, the breast you love so much. Gently squeezing through my shirt.

Of course you cant wait to to get my shirt off, and do so quickly. My 44E boobs entice you, taking one in each hand. You message my boobs and pull at my nipples. Getting little peaks of hardest that make your mouth water.

You tentatively lick a nipple,... Continue»
Posted by blkbbw4fun 7 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 735  |  
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Dr.Javed in india

I am Kiran, this account comes from our visit to Calcutta India. A week into our holiday on Sunday morning we arrived at the Ruby general hospital on eastern metropolitan bypass, kasba golpark, west Bengal at about 7am in our car. I was not in my senses, My husband was badly hurt. His breathing was erratic, I feared for his life. The previous evening he fell down from the balcony onto a chair at the house and hurt himself. Since then he had an acute breathing problem. Our local doctor visited that evening and gave some medication but his condition deteriorated through the night. We had to rush... Continue»
Posted by obi_malluda 8 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1717  |  
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THE WALKING FUCKERS, Episode Two

THE WALKING FUCKERS Episode Two


In the last episode our main character woke up to
discover the world was overrun by crazy horny
sex zombies who weren't really zombies cause
they ain't dead...

THE WALKING FUCKERS, continued...

So I gulped down the sandwich and drank from the
milk container like a slob.
Manners don't matter during an apocalypse.
So I decided to pig out.
M0m was still out running around naked getting fucked
by everybody.

The weather was warm so I knew she wouldn't
catch pnuemonia.

*burp*

“Where the fuck do I GO?” I asked myself.

“I'll go see how
... Continue»
Posted by yutubeslut 8 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 590  |  
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USS INTERPRIK a Sex Trek story (2012 by Salmacius)

This story is similar to other one You can see and is set like the cinema of the saga of "Star Trek" - so imagine in practice the same customs and the same atmosphere - and it's the story of an interplanetary voyage, with a few differences ... . that this will never find the movie or the text of it.

Chapter 1) THE DEPARTURE

It describes the journey of the "USS INTERPRIK" - starship ship in the same class as the best known "USS ENTERPRISE", but this is more modern and spacecraft that made a mysterious journey, a secret mission which for various reasons never ended for be described elsewhe... Continue»
Posted by salmacius 8 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 405  |  
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Great car Mate! - A tale of Tea, Biscuits and som


I’ve told you about my fuck buddy and our first adventure with another guy, here is a tale of a very unusual dogging experience up at Wisley.
We arrived quite late one night and parked up in the cafe car park, both of us climbed into the back and started to kiss and cuddle as you do, I’m quiet keen to start removing her clothes as well as mine!
I’m down to my underpants and she is now just in her basque and stockings I’ve loosen her shoulder straps and sucking on her firm tits and tonguing her hard nipples, she has such wonderful tits and I can’t leave them alone, I take a peek outside an... Continue»
Posted by flashgit 9 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 380

The girl with the violin Part IV

The girl with the violin collapsed beside me out of breath. Her bow arm strait out to her side, hanging off the side of the bed. The other arm clenching the violin to her breast.
"oh wow!"

I sat up on the bed taking the violin from her and placing it back in it's case. She laid there on the bed, her hands lay on her stomach just below the navel.
"that was.. wow!" "my pussy feels like a furnace"

We laid there on the hotel bed and talked for hours. She told me about the sheep ranch she grew up on in New Zealand. How she started playing the violin at age eight. And how she was now in co... Continue»
Posted by ironmunky 10 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 105  |  
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The Party!!

She was beautiful, tall for a female for she was around six feet; with the most gorgeous pair of legs he had ever seen. Her hair was long enough to cover her breasts and tickle the bottom of her rib cage with the ends of it; her hair was thick, glossy, and the color of milk chocolate. God how he wanted to run his fingers through it and feel it brush against his skin like a blanket of the finest silk. Yet, as beautiful as her body was, it was her eyes that captured, and held, him. They were a deep forest green with a dark ring of gray around the pupils. They were eyes that boldly met his own ba... Continue»
Posted by spudrico27 10 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 458  |  
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THE WALKING FUCKERS Episode one

THE WALKING FUCKERS


It was supposed to be a weak RNA strand that
disabled the enemy then withered.
The vector virus had other ideas.
It found a single, mutated Ecoli bacterium
and mated with it.
Military “Intelligence” had finally fucked us all.


“M0m will be furious with me,” I thought, lying in bed,
trying to figure how I'd refuse the “corrective” surgery
and not get kicked out of the house.
The alarm clock beeped.

“I'm 18, why NOW?? I grew up this way! NO, mom, NO!”

Fifty rehearsals in my head.
I waited.
Nothing.

Then voices in the street.
I looked out the w
... Continue»
Posted by yutubeslut 10 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales, Taboo  |  Views: 1055  |  
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tease


His heart sank as did his knees as he lay his forehead on her feet.

"Good boy" she said admiringly "I so appreciate you doing this you know, it just turns me on so much to see you like this. And I love the way you lick my toes while you're down there. I promise I will make it all worth your while, as long as you honour your word and do exactly as I tell you for the next four days. You will be good and do as you are told, wont you?"

She sounded so calm, sympathetic, and almost kindly.

"Yes" he mumbled half-heartedly.

There was a silence. A worrying pause. Then her voice became pur... Continue»
Posted by EASTWOODY 10 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 345

the office

I'm walking over to the kitchen when I hear Lisa call "Selfish!" in that half mocking tone she loves so much. She looks at my mug and gestures to me with her own. "Ah, shit, sorry Lisa, tea or coffee?" I reply, with a melodramatic bow. It's a running joke we have, me being her skivvy. I've been working for her on this project for over six months now. You couldn't want much more from a boss, she knows her stuff but doesn't lord it over us. Keeps the teams happy, backs us up when it counts but isn't afraid to tell you when you're talking shit. Combined with that she's gorgeous, so as far as I'm... Continue»
Posted by EASTWOODY 10 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 565

First time I saw a penis

When I was in seventh grade, a f****y moved in next door. Their son was one grade ahead of me. We lived in a rural place where there were not a lot of people around. I didn't have any b*****rs or s****rs, and he didn't either, so we became best friends.

One summer day, Tommy called me because he was home alone. His parents had to take a trip to a place 100 miles away. It was for grown-up business and he would have been bored so he did not go. He asked me to come over. So I did.

We talked for awhile, and then he asked me if I could keep a secret. I said yes, and he told me that he had a s... Continue»
Posted by kbking70 11 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 4623  |  
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The Memories of Sirens Part I - How I Met and Fell

First story. Hope you enjoy!

There wasn't ever really anything important in my life,and there really isn't anything important now. That was until of course, I met her. Let me elaborate on who I am. My name is John, but people also refer to me as Jack. I'm a 24 year old World Traveler/Philantropist/Philosopher/Writer. I discover alot of the things that are for say " Unknown to the general public" and while I'm doing my travels help in the community and also discover exactly who I am abit then afterwards I spend the time to write and sometimes publish my experiences in novels. I'm a good 6'5,... Continue»
Posted by knightmare2196 11 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 292  |  1