Sex Humor Porn Stories

Panties with Matching Earrings

We are an “ah hoc” team thrown together for this development project. I am Robbie, and I am a contract engineer specializing in electronic sensors. There is our resident geek, Markie who handles the electronics end of things. Mr. Cho stops by from time to time as he is the representative of the company who actually manufactures the product. Marlene, the designer is in charge of making sure that everything is tasteful and attractive. And there is “J” who is our intern and general good sport about things.

What is that we are developing? Well, I thought it was a tasteless joke when I was told ... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 23 hours ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Dare to Bare: The Exhibition Game

This is a little game for couples where you will have to take risks in public in order to get rewarded. Neither of you are allowed to orgasm until one of you gets 10points. Your partner's duty will be to act as a witness to your dares and motivate you by teasing you mercilessly but denying you until the 10points are earned. The goal is to push your limits and make yourself try crazy things to enhance the coming orgasm!

Dares for her:
Let a stranger "accidentally" see down your blouse. = 1point
Answer the door wearing only a towel or bathrobe. = 1point
Wear a short dress with no panties o... Continue»
Posted by robyngoodfello 1 day ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

My Surprise Birthday Treat at the Stables

My Surprise Birthday Treat at the Stables

I’m Jack and on my 40th birthday my wife Sam went to the stables as usual. Not even a Birthday ‘playing with’ or even a kiss. So I plan to ravish her upon her return regardless of her wishes. I reframe from watching Xhamster vids and pleasuring myself so I can deposit a full load into my wife’s welcoming pussy. After a leisurely shower and a birthday fry up, I am set for the day ahead.

9.30 I receive a text that says ‘burst pipe please come immediately and bring your toolbox’. Shit! That’s buggered my day! Throwing my tool box in the truck I was... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 3 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Roma Revenge I: The Metamorphosis

This is the first part of my second novel. See my profile for details.
My name is Shawna. At least, according to my driver’s license it is. I used to be Shawn Milner, a relatively successful businessman with a bit of a drinking habit. I had lived as Shawn for twenty-seven very satisfied years, taking what I wanted from life and giving it my charming company in return. Even when that company was unwanted.
I was handsome, bold, strong… I really had it all. Not that I didn’t work hard at some of it; it takes more than wishful thinking and good genes to earn a squa... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 5 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  


You’d think I could get the chapter headings consistent and then of course there is the out order issue. Maybe someday I’ll go back and rearrange them. But I digress. It’s time we met Barbara.
I mentioned before that we worked for the same company but in different departments. We met when my group decided to go out for happy hour one Friday. Someone knew people in sales and invited them. Barbara was in sales and she came along. We hit it off pretty well, but made no plans or anything like that. I had a steady girl at the time and her status wasn’t discussed... Continue»
Posted by justluvtrans 8 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Free Greek nude camping - pt1

Early summer, I clot from everyday life and I realized that is Saturday morning that I have no obligations.
Oops I'm thinking, I will go to the sea. I make a couple of phone calls to some girlfriends, but naught.
Checking forecast, fickle weather.
Fuck the weather I say, I am loading the necessaries for a nudist beach with free camping and I depart.
Noon'm there. Loaded tents, mattresses, food, etc., descend the cliff of about 150 meters to get to the shore and ... there I am.
On another planet, the secluded beach with woods behind, right and left large rocks in front of me the light blue... Continue»
Posted by saloniko 9 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Bra from Hell

They are kind of rare these days but this was an actual cocktail party given by the professional association to which I belong. So being work related I had no choice but to be there. This one was easy as it was held in a restaurant’s bar and I was going to meet friends afterward.

I was standing in line waiting to get a drink when a very lovely woman got in line behind me. When I looked to see who it was thinking perhaps it might be a colleague, she gave me a welcoming smile so I said, “Can I buy you a drink?” “Well since they are courtesy of the association I guess you can!” she ... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 17 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Bra from Hell

They are kind of rare these days but this was an actual cocktail party given by the professional association to which I belong. So being work related I had no choice but to be there. This one was easy as it was held in a restaurant’s bar and I was going to meet friends afterward.

I was standing in line waiting to get a drink when a very lovely woman got in line behind me. When I looked to see who it was thinking perhaps it might be a colleague, she gave me a welcoming smile so I said, “Can I buy you a drink?” “Well since they are courtesy of the association I guess you can!” she said wi... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 17 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  1

Anal Week

Anal Week

Kathryn could feel her period was approaching. She tingled with excitement because she knew what that meant. It meant her man would have no choice in the matter he would have to fuck her arse. She cheekily rang Brad and declared her "friend" had arrived and with feigned sadness said her cunt was out of action for a few days. Brad's sadness was equally insincere. "You know what that means? You can only fuck me me up my arse!" she intoned.

Brad grinned as he said "well you know I can't stop fucking you because you want cock no matter what, so it will just have to be in your ars... Continue»
Posted by Pleasurist 17 days ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The first adventure of Masha, Silenos and MrCockTa

Masha feeds MrCockTail, the masturbating a****l. Used condoms are his favorite food.
In the past, when MrCockTail was young, he could put his nose into everything. He worked much for Catholik church, the Russian and the American secret service. He is old today and gets backache always from masturbating and his nose is often blocked. In addition, he sees no longer so well where he puts his nose. Now he spends his days in Sileno's workshop.
Masha has got to know him there. She likes MrCockTail and brings him all used condoms she carefully collects. Today she gives him an old ,used Dig whic... Continue»
Posted by silenos65 18 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  

Susanna Francessca on James Whale Show

This is a true story sent to me by a friend. There's lots of pictures and videos of Susanna here on my channel and also all over the internet. She's worth a look at !!!!

"There used to be a television programme in the UK called ‘The James Whale Show’. It was a  mixture of interviews with famous people and a bit of nudity as well. I remember seeing Susanna on there a few times, but in pretty minor roles, always looking sexy but mainly dressed. However, one week she was on a lot more.
There used to be a topless girl dressed as a mermaid on most weeks and James Whale would always stand near ... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 18 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  


It has been ten years since the League of Women voters became the main governing body of what used to be the continental United States, now called the principality of Susan B Anthony. Ten years since men were stripped of all power and were f***ed to take more submissive roles. Attractiveness, breading quality and most importantly, penis size were the only factors of judging a mans worth.

If you were a fit attractive male with a large cock, you got to enjoy a leasurely life of nice cars big houses and sex with all the attractive women you could ever want. If you were flabby and out of shape ... Continue»
Posted by Drsmiley82 23 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  

7 of 9 gets help from Tom Paris

Lt Tom Paris had to hurry from the Bridge to sickbay. Voyager had just received an emergency distress call from the Delta Flyer. Apparently some strange gas had gotten into the shuttle and was messing up the ship's systems as well as physically harming Seven of Nine. Seven of Nine and the Doctor had been the only members of that particular away mission and with Tom being the only medical assistant he had to leave his post at comm. and head down to sick bay.

Seven of Nine and the Doctor both beamed directly into sickbay from the Delta Flyer. While Tom had immediately started scanning Seven h... Continue»
Posted by NoBounds2 1 month ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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7 Of 9 Isn't The Only One Infected

Tom Paris and Seven of Nine were standing in sickbay completely naked, in front of Captain Kathryn Janeway, whom was glaring at them.

"I can't believe two of my senior officers would do something like this!" yelled Janeway.

"Captain I can explain. You see..." began Tom, but Janeway interrupted.

"I don't want excuses! You two have no idea... Seven why are twitching like that?" Seven of Nine had been twitching before but it suddenly got worse. Seven could no longer control herself and just brought her hands up to her perfect tits and started squeezing and twisting her nipples.

"Seven... Continue»
Posted by NoBounds2 1 month ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work ... Continue»
Posted by NoBounds2 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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An Easter Tale

An Easter Tale for Sariboo

Something to think about when the sermon goes too long this Sunday

Sari is a friend of my daughters, and since she moved to my area at some distance from her home, and my former home, I have tried to help her to adjust to being on her own. I helped her find an apartment, move in, a trip to Ikea to get furniture (and much assembly required), a search for just the right pots and pans; well you get the picture. And once or twice a week I take her to lunch or dinner. I try and find places that a twenty something would like.

We have become qui... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  

Skinny dipping with mates GF

Unusually for me I had been working in Town on a project, it was one of those gorgeous late spring days with the sun shining hot and bright. Not at all like the bleak cold of our current dirge.

There was an unexpected knock at the door, when upon answering it I found Jo standing there. “Hello” she said, “I saw your car parked outside and thought I’d see how you are?” I explained that I was fine and invited her in to see what I was up to. She came and I said that I was surprised to see her as I had expected her to be at the Wedding.

I should maybe explain here that Jo was my best mate Jon... Continue»
Posted by appycam 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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More makeup sex because it’s awesome

He pressed his lips to hers as he pushed the tip of his dick inside her gently, the whimper she let out made his arms quiver at either side of her head, and she held onto the side of his face so she could kiss him even deeper, while he filled her further and further until she was full.

“Oh,” she pulled away enough to whisper against his lips, “that’s so good.”

A few days before had been their biggest fight yet; real yelling, real hurt feelings, real tears, and it had been the first time it took a while to resolve it. In bed together, kissing, and feeling him inside her, it reminded them ... Continue»
Posted by monster__cock 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

The game begins

"Ohhh baby, baby, baby, , , harder baby yes FUCK!"

wait what? "FUCK"

This word from my wife rang some bells that got rust all over them in past eight years of relationship I had with my wife.

Yes I come from a conservative society where husband and wife are to be formal with each other. In past eight years I never heard my wife say Fuck while we were making love. It was always silent or only moans. I have to admit that my wife moans real good and at times only her moans can get me to spray it inside her that she describes as the best feeling she craves for :). So this word got me to s... Continue»
Posted by Loballo 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Hands-free quasi-orgasm in college

I always got a kick out of the idea of cumming without oral, genital or even tactile stimulation from a female. Just the turn-on of being with her, seeing her nude. I have to admit, it hasn't happened often to me, but I'd like to recount one such type of experience.

I remember it like it was yesterday - I met a girl named Valerie who was two years younger than me at a fraternity party in 1998. We went back to my apartment and started hooking up like crazy. I think it took about 5 minutes for us both to get down to our underwear. So when I took off her panties and she spread her legs there... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |