Sex Humor Porn Stories
First time I tried it I almost bled to death, a Bic razor is useless, cuts down the base of my shaft and 7 or 8 on my sack, can you imagine trying to put band-aid on a scrotum
So Veet, jees that stuff burns, I looked like it had been napalmed lol, bright red sores and the pain well that's something else,
I really should have read the reviews first haha
this one had me in tears
Veet -- the Men Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
By John W. Osborne Jr. - 30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies (American: "dingle-berries") looked like an elderly rastafarian
my cousin Rebecca and I are 9 years apart, she is 22 and I am 31, for as long as I could remember my cousin Rebecca would always fallowing my every foot step as we would play together in our grandparents back yard like a b*****r and s****r would, I always knew Rebecca loved me with a passion as I love that girl to and I would do anything for her as she would do the same, we have always been close to even this day where we share very intimate discussions of our life situations, she understands me and I understand her.
Rebecca and I have always been around each other till I hit the age of 13... Continue»
It was almost time to clock out when Amanda approached my cubicle “hey there”, now this girl only says hi or waves or simply ignores me… but today she is at my desk saying hello… “Hi” I replied, “wanna get a drink after work today?” WWHHOOOOAAAAA!!! Did she just ask me out for a drink?? She is THEE FINEST chic in the office, almost 5’8, bubble butt and a nice pair of tits, she could give a lot of models a run for their money, and did I say even the front of her pants looks pretty PHAT!! “Uh... yea... sure” I replied now horny as fuck “ok great… you’re driving Mr.” she said walking away, that a... Continue»
I got to the job interview early; I used the time to go over everything I think they would ask. The secretary called me in and showed me to the head HR lady’s office. She looked to be in mid to late 50s and didn’t even stand up to shake my hand… “Mr. Sam” she said pulling her glasses down slightly over the bridge of her nose “I regret to inform you that the position you applied for has been filled, we… tried contacting you by phone and via email, but none of them seemed to work … cause here you are” “I…”, “I’ll tell you what” she moved the papers that were in the middle of the desk to the left... Continue»
Jocelyn's hands shook as she wiggled her hips pulling
the tight dress up past her narrow waist. She gave one
last wiggle until she was able to lift the material of
her new green dress up and over her shoulders.
She pulled and tucked at the thin material making minor
adjustments here and there until the dress settled
perfectly on her gorgeous figure. She stepped over in
front of the mirror checking herself out. She gasped
when she saw her reflection as she starred studying the
way her new dress revealed her lovely breasts.
"Tom's not going to like this once he sees how m... Continue»
I think about meeting a dark, wild woman at a bar or a club. There is an immediate visceral attraction between us. We don't immediately succumb to it, however. We're both smart willful people and the control we have to exert makes the anticipation of what we both know is inevitable that much sweeter. We engage in that kind of masked erotic fencing people do in that kind of situation; looking at each other over the rims of our glasses, both getting somewhat buzzed, slowly losing the few inhibitions we started out with.
Finally we move to the dance floor, and the whole time she's looking at m... Continue»
Here we go.
I met a girl long ago she was engaged to another man, i had an intimate moments with her on a school trip I was a senior, we didnt go to the same school.
She called told me she was pregnant and I basically told her it wasnt mines and good luck. She was dismissed. Call me a jerk but she was engaged ( why was she calling me) her privates wasnt even tight for her to claim she was pure.
Years passed I tried calling to check on her, she married and moved. Good for her.
NY holiday season its busy, the lights are bright, ppl are shopping, ppl are working, the smell of tar, roasted... Continue»
Mary and Angie continued to have weekly farting contests. Their weekly contests and gas inducing foods made them perpetually gassy. It seemed like neither Amy nor Mary could go 20 minutes without letting out some farts. Amy felt very comfortable around Mary, and passed gas freely around the dorm bedroom. Mary was still shy, and tried to let them out as silently as possible. Despite her best efforts, Mary usually couldn't let them out silently. She would shift her round plump ass, trying to let them out quietly, but usually failed to Angies great amusement. Angie would usually respond by lean... Continue»
Mary was feeling a little worried. She was due to go to college in a couple weeks, which meant she had to move into the dorms.
"Can't I still commute from home?" Mary asked her parents.
"Oh no!" They said, "You wouldn't be getting the full college experience." They explained.
"Well," Mary tried, "Can I at least have a single dorm? How will I have any privacy if I share room with someone?"
"That's more expensive," They said, "And unnecessary, you'll make more friends and socialize more if you share a room with someone."
Mary valued her privacy and alone time. She was a straigh... Continue»
My Experience in London
What impressed me a lot were the buildings in London like the buildings along Regent Street & Oxford Street which are of typical British style.Even the common residential houses were so nice.But houses looked similar,it wasn't easy for me to find the right way every time.
When people are talking about U.K.,talking about London,they have to refer to Buckingham Palace,Tower of London National Gallery and the British Museum.Luckily,I visited all of these great sights.Now they are not only big names to me,but also a part of my experience,a part of my memory.
I gave Gina another night of unbridled sex just to keep her quiet, during the lull while she tried to regain her breath and composure, she asked me about my virginity and how I lost it, she didn’t think it was with Maria and I had to agree, I told her about Mrs Harris, our neighbour when I lived at home with my parents, she was a friend to my mother and father, she was in her early thirties, my mother was quite a bit older but they got on well, she had three c***dren, two girls and a boy, she was quite a big woman in every way and as I found out later, very rarely wore any underwear so her vo... Continue»
So there we were, in the 1960`s 20 years old British soldiers, seconded to the UN in Cyprus for 6 months. The island was an island of two halves Greek and Turkish with a United Nations neutral zone known as the green line Twix the two sides, Both Greek and Turks had a fair size military presence, and the UN had contingents from Sweden, Norway, Ireland, Canada and the UK. Austrians supplied the hospital and the Finnish policed the job the British contingent supplied transport and logistics in UN colours and in addition the British had a garrison complete with hospital a port and an air... Continue»
There was a knock on the front door. I was pretty sure who it was.
So let me set this up for you. If you’ve read my stories, you know that my wife, Janice and I, share our home and bed with my s****r Ginger. We’ve been living between Texas and Florida for the past few years, but Florida, where I grew up, was going to be our home from now on. And to put it plain, Florida is hot. It is hot in the winter, hot in the spring and fall. And it is really hot in the summer. Having grown up in the heat of Florida, clothes in our home are an option. Always have been, always will be. It’s so m... Continue»
This is a story of a crossdresser of SAMURAI.
As you know,SAMURAI is a,as it wre, aknite in Japan of the feudal age.
And as you know,A corossdresser is not only a boy but agirl.
Kikyou Akizuki is a second princess of the Akizuki Castle.
But the prince of the inheritor has never born yet.
Then princess Kikyou, she was brought up as a prince
She is ,oh no, he is good at fighting of combat with sword, bow and arrow, spear, horseback.
One day he went for a trip for ascetic practices to become a stronger knight than now.
While a trip,he met a tipping gambler who is bullied by a group of ... Continue»
The following story starts a little slow but read to the end.
Tom Johnson squealed the tires on his BMW 7 series as he sped into his spot in the parking garage. Today was going to be a great day. First there was big deal that was finally going to close. That deal was going to make his year with over $500 thousand in commission. Of course there was Jim Rudolf to be taken care of and Tom was looking forward to that!
Tom strolled from his car into the high rise office and proceeded to his office. As he walked by the receptionist he noted that the new girl was kind if hot. He thought I may hav... Continue»
Natalie sat cross legged on her couchin her warm flannel pj's on a friday afternoon What was she doing you ask? She was sitting there grieving the loss of her ten year relationship with her common law husband Fred. While trying to decipher what went wrong, or how, even why. Ugh she gave him everything confusion amassed her twisting and contorting plopping herself back down after pacing. Natalie wants to kick his ass, thump wtf visions of their last night together oh his warm tongue slideing down her sweet spots, his hands gripping her hands keeping her in place as he consumed her then it d... Continue»
Hubby and I have been married nearly 9 years now and have almost given up hope on ever having c***dren. My irregular ovulations was one of the culprits along few issues with hubby‘s sperm. The f****y doctor suggested that while it was possible for hubby and I to conceive, it was highly unlikely.
"You don't have enough sperm and you don’t produce enough healthy eggs." the doctor said in less medical term so we understood better. Trying to have a baby had been, Honestly, killing us. We're certainly not the first couple to have trouble conceiving and we wouldn't be the first to fall out over i... Continue»
Last week of school. Summer was close. Annie was almost running on the street with this piece of paper in her hand. She was wearing a nice red top and an extremely short brown skirt. Except for the belly and the ass cheeks that she was ostentatious showing around she looked like a little business girl. She was cute.
Annie ran late because she couldn’t find the address in the first place but she was sure she’s gonna make it. It was a bad neighborhood and the number she was searching proved to be an ugly blockhouse. With a hesitation she stepped in. The elevator wasn’t working. “Ughh... Continue»
Hi everybody. It is so nice to see you again.
If we have met before then you know me already.
I am writing this mainly for those who don't know me, because I have been asked how I got into the swinging lifestyle too many times so I thought I would just put it here.
Just one thing, as you probably know, I like to chat first before accepting a friend. I like to chat but if we are going to chat, I request that...
The story took place two years ago.
My wife and I decided to go on
vacation. The winter was only
beginning. We chose the place which
is situated 40 miles from our town
and set off. We booked a luxurious
room and ordered a massage. The
resort was 30 per cent filled, mostly
by old ladies.
In the evenings they organized a
disco party and Agy insisted on
looking at it. When we arrived we
could see only old men and women.
It was boring indeed. My wife started
talking to a woman and I said I’d
better watch TV in the room and left.
Agy is a pretty woman. She was 27
at that moment b... Continue»