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Always keep your condoms in your car.

Always keep your condoms in your car.

... daughter. Welcome to the f****y.'

And the moral of this story: Always keep your condoms in your car. ...
bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate ... to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold,

the entire f****y... Continue»
Posted by moonrider 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Keep Your Mouth Shut

... .

“I’ll let you keep those, I can always print more. Not to mention the videos I got.”

“What do ... thing in to fuck with your head.”

I felt like a complete idiot. Terrance always told me I jumped ... in. “What the fuck you even lookin’ for? I can’t tell if you worried yo’ man can’t keep his eyes offa me... Continue»
Posted by bbwlovar 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore  |  
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Keep Your Hands To Yourself

... . “Next time keep your hands to yourself and off my man unless I say otherwise.” As Frank walks down ... not to. Knowing that Robin is definitely going to want to fuck this man she makes an effort to keep them ... to tag along. Once parked she does a double take on the car sitting beside her... Continue»
Posted by WillyPumps 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, BDSM, Group Sex  |  
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5 Tips to Keep Your Girl Happy

... a promise to your girl, try to keep it. A girl pins a great deal of expectations to every single promise ... you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying ... in a relationship.

Pay Attention

You are undisputedly the centre of the world for your girl so, she... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Ten Reasons You Should Always Eat Your Own Cum

... a healthy treat waiting in your balls to keep you going for the rest of the day!
6. Recent studies have ... , potassium, proteins, carbohydrates, and fats, all of which can help supplement your normal diet.
2 ... . It helps keep you hydrated. Cum is mainly water, and can help make sure you stay hydrated, which is very... Continue»
Posted by SelfCumEater 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Taboo  |  
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Theatrical ....8

... said, “you will be punished, you have been a bad girl doing that to your s****r so if you choose ... sorry for her, I looked at him, “are you going to dump me if I don’t suck your cock?” I asked ... and who he wants as long as he keeps me happy and he does, in every way” I said, “well, we are off... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second stab at humor in sex

... , you still got that condom in your wallet since high school prom."

"I can't help it Sharon Keller ... in the car Pete asks, "How are your balls?"

"Really, I don't want to talk about it." Mutters ... to grab us and stuff us in the car and take us home and screw our brains out? I think your brain... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Some Day My Prince Will Come

... Someday My Prince Will Come





This happened in 2011 and is, as always, true:

I had ... .. like .. is enough to buy my husband out, and a car. Let's say £25,000"

"Deal" I said ... , involve ... "going" ... with me... as well as him"

"Oh CHRIST!" she said "I've always thought... Continue»
Posted by lyn_hornygirl 11 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Lesbian Sex  |  
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Jake's Magic Remote XVI - Favors

... toward sl**p.
Finally, after more minutes than he could keep track of, Jake felt the gentle ... tingling of sex building to something more within him. He kept sliding in and out, keeping his pace smooth ... could. “Of course you are, my darling,” he said, kissing her earlobe. “Aren’t you always?”
Natalia... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Hardcore  |  
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You Horny Beach

... difficulty decided where the next summer's holiday destination was going to be. Once again the car ... by hundreds of people is not your sort of thing, but when all those people were naked, sexed up ... to look, someone was always up to something somewhere, and we fell into a casual debate as to which... Continue»
Posted by newtydreads 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex  |  
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The Misadventures of Anita Chapter 4

... you cannot sl**p I can always comeback and fuck your cunt and ass again if you wish.”
“Thank you ... of the house. Running her hand along the clothes she picked out a rubber car suit and tried ... cunt “Oh Joe you are so bad fucking me with that big cock of yours what would Karen say.”
Trying... Continue»
Posted by SpikeHammer 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Hardcore  |  
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College life 29

... said. "It's true but I didn't see your ass out
there much."

"Good reason too. I don't want ... moved to
his bed. We kissed on the bed for a little while.

"Do you always have to do that here ... you go Matt,
check your email," Corey said and handed me his computer.

I logged out and was so... Continue»
Posted by ab8715 1 year ago  |  Categories: Gay Male  |  
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Andy and the contractor

... and asked if she was ok. She nodded with a faint smile. Then she asked, “Did you bring condoms ... on the bed next to her. Bubble bath, lotion, oil, lube, different colored condoms, a ribbed ... and a glow in the dark condom and also a knobbed cock ring.

“All of this for tonight?” Andy questioned... Continue»
Posted by loloishorny 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Voyeur  |  
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Hilary Duff & Haylie Duff

... back in your car, and lock the doors.” Hilary nodded, and climbed back into her car quickly locking ... appear. “Keep your hands on your legs, don’t bend your knees, and bend over as far as you can ... CHAPTER 1

“Oh shit.” Hilary cursed into her cell phone as her car quietly rolled to a dead stop... Continue»
Posted by scottynrachel781 9 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Group Sex  |  
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Chuck Makes Arrangements for Me

... , pussies are never as tight down there. I still keep up exercises, but I’ve got to tell you ... over his ears in the back of our car and had joyfully busted me for having another cock in my pussy ... . To say he was thrilled would be understating it. He fucked me wildly in the car and then again... Continue»
Posted by aguynamedchuck 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore  |  
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Arrest Powers

... find something don't wait for him to get home," Sam
said. He might be alerted if he sees your cars ... it always is, especially in the Department of
Homeland Security. We work for ICE, Immigration and Customs ... , because Section H-2 was one of the few that performed real
enf***ement to keep our country safe. Most... Continue»
Posted by john1195 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Masturbation  |  
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Wedding - mix up

... into her body. I had always used a condom the few times I was allowed to cum in my ex.
Now I ... with my parents in their car. It was a pretty small wedding, maybe because the wedding couple both had ... and my ex had trouble when I would enter her. We always had to use lube for me to get in her.
I... Continue»
Posted by happy_manwhore 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature  |  
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Theatrical,,,,,,,, 22

... wanted me to fuck, either way, I was up for it.

We met for lunch and I could hardly keep my hands ... off him sat at the table holding his hand and gripping it very tight, with him I always measured my ... are you taking me?” I asked, “there must be a million beautiful women in your life who you could have... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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ProfNigma Stories #5: If Wishes Were Hornets #2

... really want your blessing on this, it won't change anything, no matter how much freedom I'm allowed ... competition is insane, he thought.

"If you will drop your piece off over on the left wall, we ... will head up to the office and get all your paperwork taken care of."

Spencer did as he was told, and set... Continue»
Posted by FrankSinner 1 year ago  |  Categories: Celebrities  |  
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Whisky And Cartoons

... keep your mouth shut.”
Margie isn’t exactly nice. Dad says she is as mean as a snake, and as quick ... you didn’t ask me to suck your dick,” she says. “Guys always want their dick sucked.”
That must ... I heard your dad coming home,” she says, panting. “But it was just the neighbors car.” Margie fans... Continue»
Posted by brianbigdogsmith 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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